Polyglot Poetry

It's a Small World, Part CCLXXVI

2009-03-04T19:40:00.002-05:00

I occasionally go to a local Arab cafe to do my Arabic homework, when I actually have time for the hour walk round trip, and when the weather and my budget allow. (It's more expensive than Starbucks!) The first time I was in there, the waiter stared at me with an odd look on his face and asked if I had ever been to Jordan. I thought that perhaps he was trying to make conversation, and I was about to tell him that I thought it was a lovely country.

Waiter: Have you ever been to Jordan?
Me: Yes, it was nice...
Waiter: Did you study at the University of Jordan?
Me: Yes, that's a good guess.
Waiter: Were you in the program for American students, about three or four years ago?
Me: What?!! How...how did you know? Who ARE you? I know you weren't one of my teachers.
Waiter: You were in Level Four, right?
Me: Yes...this is too weird...
Waiter: Oh, I taught in Level Two, and I remembered your face from the photograph on your application attached to the proficiency test at the start of the program.

Next thing you know I'll start running into people I've previously met all over the place. The whole world certainly seems to converge in Washington, DC.

Library Grafitti

2009-03-04T19:18:00.002-05:00

I am strongly against writing in library books, not least because I find it incredible distracting to read something that someone else has already underlined and highlighted. In this particular copy of Hanna Batatu's The Old Social Classes and Revolutionary Movements of Iraq, I can see evidence of at least twelve separate library patrons guilty of defacing the pages with their ink. Sometimes the multitudes of graffiti artists have written comments in the margins, and others have come along and responded, to humorous results.

Mundhir al-Wandhawi and another Ba'thi pilot,seizing two airplanes, bombed ar-Rashid air base, destroying five MIGs on the ground and, by way of warning, fired a rocket at the presidential palace.

Pg. 1023-1024, referring to events during the start of the 1963 coup that brought the Ba'ath Party to power.

Written in the upper margin of page 1024 in red ink with an arrow pointing to the above book text is the comment, "Why not Tel Aviv? You fools!"

Just to the left of the red pen marks is a penciled reply, "Because they wanted to stay alive, moron."

If only paper books were so interactive. Now, if I were going to be so gauche as to write in a library book, I would have left a third comment, "And how about the fact that the air strikes had absolutely nothing to do with Tel Aviv?"

2008-09-15T02:15:00.003-04:00

I can now conclude that each of my three reading-based courses has over 100 pages of reading per week, for a total of over 300 pages of reading per week. This is in addition to the hour (at least) of homework for Arabic that I have every day. That's alot of homework. And I don't care if alot isn't a real word and is only something to be used when speaking of a parking lot.

My Brain Hurts

2008-09-02T21:09:00.002-04:00

I've just returned from having class from 4:15-8:05, and I'm starving! Though admittedly not nearly as hungry as those who had to duck out in the middle of class to break their fast. Ramadan kareem to those applicable. I thought that the comparative politics class was going to be boring given the professor in charge, but then at the very last minute, the original professor made it back into the US. He is one of the most engaging professors I have ever come across, on par with the instructor for the Gulf Financial Markets course. I have come to the final decision to stick with the Comparative Politics class and the Politics of the Gulf class, taking the finance class next fall. My concentration is still tba, though I will say that a) Comparative Politics is key to political economy (a research subject near and dear to my heart) and b) Comparative Politics is a requirement for the politics concentration, so I have been advised to take it now in case I need it for graduation. I did, thankfully, get into the Politics of Saudi Arabia and the Gulf class (a fantastic small seminar for graduate students only) , which has the bonus of a Super Secret Mystery Guest Professor for half the semester. I'm probably not supposed to say who it is so let's just say that I now have more wasta than all of you combined.

School Daze

2008-09-01T22:25:00.002-04:00

Wandering around my leafy campus with its Gothic style buildings, I can almost pretend that I attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That is, if Hogwarts had a graduate program. My nine-year-old sister already made the imaginative leap into fact after viewing the older buildings for herself. "Look! There's Hogwarts!" she exclaimed every time she saw the distinctive Gothic spires from various points around town. However, no matter how many chapters of the Harry Potter series that I read in Arabic, I will not magically transform into a witch, nor will my courses begin to resemble, "International Magical Cooperation: Theory and Practice," or "Trade in Magical Goods."

I will instead take two hours of Arabic every weekday from 9:15 am, a three hour mandatory seminar for new students every Friday afternoon that explores the study of the Arab world through five varied disciplines, and ____________? My other two courses are still up in the air. Perhaps Comparative Politics of the Middle East, followed by the Politics of Saudi Arabia and the Gulf. Or Beyond Oil: Gulf Financial Markets paired with Economic Development in the Arab World. Or some combination of the two. My course schedule depends partly on space available in the classes and my choice of disciplinary focus for the program, be it politics or economics. I wish there were enough time in the program to do both. I thought that I had finally decided on politics, and then I attended the first lecture of the Beyond Oil: Gulf Financial Markets course. I have never had so much fun in a class. Ever. It seems illegal to have that much in a class. You would think that my proclamation at the very top of this blog that Arab economic development indicators are among my favorite things would be a clue...

We shall see if I am able to secure the aid and permissions of all of the relevant advisers before the end of the add/drop deadline on Wednesday.

The Bookbag Talk

2008-08-26T22:17:00.004-04:00

Every year in high school, our headmistress began the opening assembly of the new school year with The Bookbag Talk by showing and telling us the contents of her bag. Her point was that every student brought something special to the school in intangible ways through her own thoughts, perceptions, and experiences, not just in the designs and contents of her backpack. She encouraged students to bring with them the desire to learn, the ability to think critically, and to leave behind negativity and their prejudices and preconceptions. Over time, the bookbag talk became a beloved ritual of every new school year. I enjoyed the novelty of seeing what the headmistress and other faculty would display from their bags during the talk, as well as relishing the calm and focus acquired from precisely packing my own school things on that all-important first day. After all, "[a] beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct."

What is in my bookbag?

Arabic Practical Dictionary English-Arabic/Arabic-English pocket dictionary by Awde & Smith
The Connectors in Modern Standard Arabic by al Warraki & Hassanein
1" school logo binder in school colors with a divider for every class
Orientalism by Edward Said
Contending Visions of the Middle East: The History and Politics of Orientalism by Zachary Lockman
Pencil case with assorted pens and pencils and 1 highlighter
USB flash drive
adhesive removable flags for marking library books
my key chain and wallet including student ID
cell phone on silent
iPod touch for music, calendar, and watching al-Jazeera
lipstick, lipgloss, chapstick, powder compact, and mini hairbrush
enthusiasm for learning
gratitude to be able to attend my program
an eye out for how to transform my education into an exciting career
an open mind
a lack of my preconceptions on the region and biases towards or against certain frameworks for approaching the discipline of Arab Studies

Witness the Democratic Process

2008-07-18T16:54:00.002-04:00

The title of this post is a link to an AP article. Only in San Francisco.

I love you San Francisco, oh how I shall miss you.

And yes, I am a PROUD signatory of the petition.

Saddened by Jordan's latest Christian controversy

2008-02-23T00:34:00.002-05:00

Above link to a collection of links and commentary on the current situation in Jordan on the persecution of evangelical Christians by the Jordanian government and the discrimination that they face from other Christian denominations.

I have a feeling that acquiantances of mine are among those expelled or exiled.

Shameless Showing Off, Part 217

2008-01-18T04:24:00.000-05:00

I got blogged!

It's a Conspiracy!

2008-01-10T00:22:00.000-05:00

In trying to find official statistics on Iran's aid to Lebanon after the 2006 Israeli-Lebanese War, I came across this link in a google search. When I clicked on the link, I was greeted by a google page telling me that I ought not to continue on to my desired page, as there was a high possibility that it would infect my computer with malware.

I ask you this: Is the Iranian government out to infect the world with malware, or is Google in cahoots with the U.S. government to stop access to Iranian government websites from within American?

Happy Introvert Day!!!

2008-01-02T22:43:00.001-05:00

Extended Existential Angst

2007-12-10T01:27:00.000-05:00

Y'ever get the feeling that you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't? I'm currently in one of those jams. It is unseemly to lie on applications, so I shall not be lying. However, were I to give my absolute favorite career choice in my personal statement (rather than choice #2), well academia does not look upon that profession favorably, and mentioning it will send my application papers straight to the circular file. Furthermore, if I do end up with said career path, and then retire to academia, I would find it nigh impossible to conduct the necessary research for my doctoral thesis in country. I would find many doors slammed in my face, and perhaps even be blackballed at the border once word got out about my CV. Alas, for the future goal for which I have the most conviction is the easiest to write about. Additionally, I still have a nagging feeling somewhere in my head that perhaps it is an evil, evil, awful thing to do with my talents.

Back in My Day....

2007-10-21T17:02:00.000-04:00

Back in my day... we had to walk to school uphill both ways in the snow! (just kidding!)

Though what with all the press coverage about abuse in schools and other attacks on children it seems that many things that I took for granted as a child or were completely innocent childhood things are no longer possible. I used to walk the three blocks to school all by myself without any thoughts of creepy people kidnapping me. I rode my bike for miles and came home in time for dinner.

In junior high we had a pool party every year to kick off the start of another orchestra rehearsal season, and us kids tried our hardest every time to drag our furious teacher into the pool. Our little revenge for hours of grueling extra rehearsals was simply not possible without physically touching the teacher. Today this kind of contact would either result in suspension of the teacher for inappropriate contact with a student, or suspension of the students for "assaulting" a teacher. I am all for punishing the evil, sick people in this world, but wish that school officials could differentiate between something dangerous and something done by rambunctious kids. As another example, a high school teacher was amazed that I was able to wear a dress on such a cold day. "Oh, it's some kind of synthetic wonder fabric," I told her, and held out my wrist for her to feel the fabric. "Well, are you sure it's OK, I mean the administration said we're not supposed to touch the students at all," she replied. But back in elementary school, it was normal for the teachers to give hugs.

That being said, perhaps punishments back in the day were not harsh enough, and maybe it is better to be overzealous than to not have sufficient consequences for truly vile actions. A boy in kindergarten tried to look up the girl's skirts at nap time. On multiple occasions. I am still majorly peeved that he was not suspended. 3aib!

Self-Indulgent Pettiness

2007-10-18T02:48:00.000-04:00

I enjoy writing. I apparently also enjoy writing about myself, given the nature of many posts in this blog. So why is it so #$^&%$^* hard to write a 600-word essay about myself so I can get in to graduate school?

Ode to Sputnik (with apologies to the Moody Blues)

2007-10-15T01:03:00.001-04:00

Tiny sphere in orbital flight
Higher than the highest kite
Signaling the scientific might
Of nations on the earth below.
Oh how little did they know
That those electronic sounds
Emitted as it made its rounds
Would be immortalized in song,
Famous as the first of a long
Line of revolutionary machines
Created by humans unafraid to dream.
Traveling at the speed of thought
What wondrous marvels they have wrought
Both for mankind's glorious advancement
And, ominously, its military enhancement.
What salvation lies among the stars?
Will we evolve beyond all wars?
Only revolving Sputnik knows,
The answer encoded in the ghost of its echoes.

US Five Dollar Bill

2007-10-01T03:46:00.000-04:00

Q: Why does the new US five dollar bill look so pink and have a ginormous purple five on the back?

A: So it can pretend to be a euro. Then maybe people will want it more.

How to explain yourself in 600 words or less, part I

2007-09-30T15:58:00.000-04:00

Q: Why are you studying Arabic?

A: Because I once had the opportunity to live in an Arab country, and I hated having a world closed off to me because I could not understand the language. For the glory of knowledge, and because it's fun! ;-)

Q: Oh, come on, you jumped on the bandwagon after September 11, 2001, didn't you.

A: No, not the way you mean. In 1998 I was teaching myself letters. In 1999, I bought a textbook from the used bookstore from which I would later teach myself a good deal of Modern Standard vocabulary and grammar. I participated in a Model League of Arab States in high school for a good 2 years before 9/11 and made sure to write the proper Arabic for my name to make my name tag truly bilingual. Oh, you mean that scholarship, don't you. Yes, I did take the opportunity for some funding for my education, as long as people were willing to dish it out.

Though my formal classroom training in Arabic did not begin until after September 11, 2001, through sheer coincidence, the desire existed long before. The nagging thoughts constantly at the back of my mind that said that if I did not learn Arabic, then I would be a lazy fool with a missed opportunity that would haunt me the rest of my life.

Do you know what happens to those who are only learning Arabic so they can join the Special Forces? We jeer them mercilessly and try to force them out of their classes. I remember one idiot (he was academically smart but he was very foolish) who refused to learn Jordanian Arabic. He refused to ever try to speak a word of it, and we all felt very embarrassed at being out in public with him, making the rest of us all look like tools. When asked, he told us that he didn't need Jordanian Arabic, since he only needed Modern standard for a military proficiency test, and if it wasn't Iraqi dialect, then he didn't need it. Idiot. Knowing one dialect makes it easier to learn a second. Languages are to foster communication and understanding, and are not to be used merely as tools for destruction, bearing in mind that at times there is a legitimate need to to have translation to protect national security.

Qatar and Saudi Arabia End Long Running Dispute

2007-09-24T22:42:00.000-04:00

Saudi Arabia and Qatar have restored full diplomatic relations and an Al-Jazeera branch office will open its doors in Riyadh now that Saudi has finished having its little snit over the Qatari-based Al-Jazeera once portraying it in an unfavorable light.

I think now is an excellent time to make up some kind of conspiracy theory such as this political move suggests a strengthening of Sunni Arab ties among the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) states as they move to discuss the perceived threat of Iran during the upcoming GCC meeting. Please note that the previous sentence was written firmly tongue-in-cheek and is not meant to be an actual statement of opinion or fact.

Afkaar fiy muntu9if al-layl

2007-09-21T02:55:00.000-04:00

It is no secret that I am jealous of those who can use a second language (or more!) to adequately express their most complicated technical and philosophical thoughts. I strive to achieve that same competency in Arabic, and I get closer every day. I do have 'adventures,' in San Francisco, they just seem to always involve Arabic somehow. I have finally determined, through a combination of events today, that I get the most enjoyment out of a rare real conversation in Arabic when it involves highly intellectual subject matter. No more of this piddly 'hello-how-are-you-where-are-you-from' baloney. that's not a real conversation on its own, just a conversation starter. I have tried to engage people in a real conversation on serious topics before, but they just comment on "Oh, how cute, the blonde girl knows a few words," and try to use English exclusively.

And for God's sake, would everyone please stop telling me how beautiful my Arabic handwriting is? Yes, I know how to spell. It's called phonetics. And my writing only looks just like the printed font because I don't know any different. No one taught me a 'natural' way of handwriting.

Oh, to be in a university setting, surrounded by seekers of knowledge avidly engaged in academic debates...

A Snake in Lion's Clothing

2007-09-19T03:40:00.000-04:00

See the serpent hiss,
Ever quick to point out other hypocrites
While endless falsehoods ooze from his lips,
Stained with the blood of innocents.

His brazen display of vanity
Belies a black mask of false piety.
In chanting the words of the Almighty
To claim ecclesiastical authority,
He will find he has broken a sacred boundary
And must pay the appropriate penalty.
Do not feel pity.

Hail Britannia

2007-09-17T22:06:00.000-04:00

I have sent away for a number of brochures from the International Affairs schools of the universities whose programs I am interested in for graduate study. What was the very first one to arrive? The School of Oriental and African Studies at the University of London. Sent all the way from London.

2007-09-16T23:17:00.000-04:00

Advice of the day: Be happy with the gifts you do have. You don't have to be perfect or succeed at everything to be intelligent or to be a good person.

2007-09-16T16:41:00.000-04:00

Did you ever wonder why I really haven't written much of anything in the past 12 months? It's because my life is really quite boring.

Many people seem to have these illusions or delusions about all the wonderful things that I'm doing or seeing, and I hate to break it to you, but most of the rumors are untrue.

Everyone says that being 21 in a large city is supposed to be a wonderful experience with oodles of fun. They must have been talking about other people.

Additional Late-Night Ramblings

2007-09-09T03:17:00.000-04:00

I've been doing a good deal of reflection lately. This time last year, I was still in Yemen. I miss Yemen.

ما اشد اشتيافي اليها

Gee, I really hope my Arabic keyboard stickers arrive in the mail soon so that I don't have to take forever to type the above sentence.

I have a freshly-laundered balto all ready to go.

I even miss the bitter, green fenugreek foam on top of salta. I tried my hand at a recipe while dancing around the kitchen to music from Manakha, but it wasn't the same.

PG&E can go [expletive deleted] a [censored]

2007-08-30T01:02:00.000-04:00

I just got my monthly bill from Pacific Gas & Electric (PG&E), which is, as the name of the utility company states, is a combined bill for my electricity and gas usage. My previous bills to date have been $26, followed by $22 and $31. This gives me an average monthly bill of around $26 dollars. I always turn off light when I leave the house, and make sure to turn off the television and the radio. Furthermore, I have used my gas stove less during this past billing cycle than I have in previous months, so I fully expected this month's bill to be comparable to my other charges. Oh, no.

I just got a bill for $75.00. To reiterate, a full seventy-five US dollars. What. The. [censored]. PG&E has been so kind as to tell me which portion of the bill was for gas and which was for electric. Please explain how the hell I could have used $60 of electricity alone, twice my normal ENTIRE PG&E bill in one month, WITHOUT changes in usage habits?

Test

2007-08-29T02:06:00.001-04:00

Apparently, MS Word 2007 has a gimmick whereby one can publish a blog entry from within Word. How that is preferable to or easier than using the entry mechanism on the Blogger website I have yet to determine. This has been a test. Thank you

Computer Overload

2007-08-28T22:00:00.000-04:00

I got a shiny new Hewlett Packard laptop over the weekend. I didn't really start setting it up until early Sunday evening as I was so busy with incredibly vital things like Renaissance fairs and Arab cultural festivals. The Arab cultural festival will probably be my next post, so stay tuned. I am somewhat regretting my decision to not dedicate the weekend to setting up the computer, as it is now Tuesday evening, and I am still sitting here copying files between the two machines.

Caveat emptor, buyer beware. Those are the words of wisdom I have for anyone lured by the siren song of shiny HP machines with their bright screens, back to school savings, and fancy remote controls. Once I finally have everything up to my personal specifications, I shall be pleased, but the general public needs to be forewarned that HP puts a ridiculous amount of crap advertising masquerading as software on their machines. Some of it is not even shown on the 'add and delete programs' list in control panel. The only way to actually exterminate them (like the nasty little vermin that they are) is to go into the programs folder in the hard drive and pray that you have gotten out all the bits and pieces. One particularly egregious example is the HP Total Care Advisor. While it is possible to delete it through the Control Panel, it purports to be in charge of important maintainence features that make me leery of getting rid of it, all the while being chock full of advertising! I just paid your company good money for a laptop, I don't know what right you have to shove advertising down my throat. Like the 'Easy Internet Setup' that is not a setup wizard at all, but a gimmick to get you to sign up with one of their corporate sponsor ISPs, the link to E-bay, the link for 'comparison shopping', and the search box that is permanently tied to Yahoo. If they are going to build me a search box, I want to customize it. Microsoft put enough crap in Windows Vista that I don't want without having to clean up the mess from HP!

Once I finally deleted programs and got my internet reconnected (when in doubt, power cycle a cable modem to reset the ISP), it was time to transfer my vital files. I was so excited that my old computer was basically functional for me to be able to copy irreplaceable files, but did not expect it to take forever. Windows Vista comes with a file transfer programs that claims to make it easy to transfer files and settings between computers. Of course, first one must install the program on the old computer, so I had to burn it onto a CD and do the install. Then I find out that I am unable to do the recommended method of file transfer that requires a special kind of cable that I don't have. The only other choices were setting up a network, or using discs or USB drives to move files. I was unsuccessful in getting the two computers into a network, so I thought that CDs would be the most expedient method. No such luck, as apparently my CD burner on the old machine no longer works properly. It took me multiple restarts, and trying to use different CD burning programs at my disposal to come to that conclusion. USB drives were my only hope. Have you ever tried to use two USB drives, one of 256 MB and the other actually an MP3 player commandeered in an emergency of slightly less than 2GB to transfer several hundred music files and over 1000 photos? Well, it is just slightly better than watching paint dry. My old laptop only has a USB 1.0 drive, so its infuriating slowness compounds the problem of that fact that I've gone though about 15 transfers thus far, and I'm still not done. Inshallah, I'm on the last one.

Then there is the issue of installing all the programs that I DO want. I got mozilla firefox last night and put it all the necessary browser extensions for my bilingual life and copied in my bookmarks from the other computer. I still need a new set of Arabic keyboard stickers, though. I could also do with skype, some special software from Emory University, aim, flickr uploader, google earth, and a special pack of extra Arabic fonts. I am getting really sick of having to restart at every single program deletion or installation.

The Glorious Internet

2007-08-21T02:21:00.000-04:00

Hello again!

I've just stayed up past my bedtime watching an extra episode of North and South on Netflix. I'm probably the last person on the block to get Netflix, and I must now rave about it with all the zeal of a new convert, despite the fact that everyone else has already discovered and couldn't care less. Oh well. But I must say, I am impressed with the high quality offered for watching films direct over the internet- it's like cable tv! I now know that other purveyors of internet video are cheap @$!*&$% (I'm talking to you, Jump TV!) who can't be bothered to give high quality feed even with a subscription! I was seriously considering getting a temporary package during Ramadan so that I could watch MBC 1 and LBC, but the grainy video quality isn't worth it. As a non-muslim I won't be fasting, but you can bet I'm looking forward to the tv specials.

In other news, I just couldn't get my Firefox browser to install its latest update, so when I clicked on the link in the error message for some reason it brought me to the page for installing the whole browser over again in another language instead of just giving me the update for the US English version. Now I'm surfing away in Arabic.

And on yet another note, I am torn between whether Saudi 1 or Saudi 2 has the lamer programming lineup.

Astrology

2007-08-19T13:41:00.000-04:00

LIBRA September 22-October 22
Deep inside you know something exciting is going to happen. You feel eager and young like an understudy waiting in the wings, antsy as all get out. This next month is prep time, so pay attention to your dreams. Mercury and the sun are putting together a magic act that allows at least one of them to come true.

Oooooo, which one? Which one? I don't want to wait a month, I want an answer NOW! At least it's a realistic fortune, telling me that good things come to those who work hard.

It better be the getting into graduate school part.

I need a new computer...

2007-08-07T02:14:00.000-04:00

Yes, there has been a definite lack of interesting and prolific writing around here for the entire year 2007 so far. Even so, I beg of you all, pretty please with a cherry on top, to indulge my self-absorbed, needy, whiny ways as I make another request, rather than providing you with amusing anecdotes or links to thought-provoking articles.

My laptop is 'dying,' insofar as it is possible for an inanimate object to die. The battery only holds about two minutes of charge, the memory has suffered physical damage and must be replaced, the hard drive might be on its way out too, sometimes the screen flickers while in windows, I can only get Windows to load through the boot disk, and I can't reinstall Windows due to the hardware error with the memory.

$120 new battery
$ 50 new 512MB memory
$ 40 memory install

With $210 plus tax at the very least going in to fix the poor thing, it's unfortunately time for a new computer.

So I ask, "Is it better to get a good budget student machine, or should I go for something more than $1000 in the hopes that that Intel Core 2 Duo processor, 2 gigs of RAM and enormous hard drive will somehow run smoother for longer?" Now, in answering this question, bear in mind that I am after a laptop that is portable without breaking my back, ie no more than 6.5 lbs. Also, I do not foresee needing a machine for graphics-rich gaming purposes.

Random Ramblings and a Lost Book

2007-06-30T05:04:00.000-04:00

Oh, what an odd jumble of thoughts the brain spews forth at 2:00 in the morning. The first thing I should like to say is that Tash Ma Tash ( طاش ما طاش) is hilarious, and special thanks for Abu Dhabi TV to purchase a couple of episodes and let me watch the live channel online for free.

Secondly, I am fretting over not being able to recall the title of a book that I used to own some years ago, and was forced to get rid of. Without the title, I can't hunt down a new copy. Which is to say, a copy that is new to me. I am quite sure that this book is out of print. It is a children's book, most likely British in origin, about little British children growing up in colonial times in Egypt. They take Arabic lessons and complain about the dichotomy between spoken and written Arabic. They have friends among the local people in the village. Most importantly, they solve a mystery. Some years before, the son of a widow was wanted by the authorities. He ran away, and hid in some kind of dark place in the village. The villagers thought they had a ghost around, when really it was the man sneaking around in the middle of the night. A treasure of some sort turns up, which had something to do with the man. Oh please, I do hope that somebody can tell what out of print book I am looking for?

Prince Naif Says That Segregation of Sexes Is Not Right

2007-04-08T23:54:00.000-04:00

Alright, who gave Prince Naif a lobotomy? (Arab News article link is given in the title of this post.)

Duck and Cover

2007-03-28T00:44:00.000-04:00

My office lies on the 20th floor of a 42-story building in the heart of San Francisco's Financial District. Our firm is well insulated from the outside hubbub of the street below by our height and the shielding power of our neighboring buildings of similar stature. All that fills my ears is the natural cacophony of the corporate world: the constant cooling fan hum of our eight PCs, three servers, and two laptops, typing on keyboards, pen clicks, adding machine gears, telephone rings, and the muffled phrases of the meeting going on in the corner office. Just another ordinary auditory day at a small, boutique accounting firm. (Oh God, I just made a pun about accounting...)

I put down the handset of my Executive Display Phone (other administrative professionals should be jealous of the wonders of my Executive Display Phone!), leaving my ears free to hear the rest of the office, only to detect something amiss. Something from OUTSIDE the office, outside the building. Is it an airplane? Ready to crash into our building at top speed? Shoulder-launched missiles? An atomic bomb? Did somebody set off an explosion at the Securities and Exchange Commission but floors above me? WHY AM I HEARING AN AIR RAID SIREN?!?!??? EVERYBODY PANIC!!!!!!!

Oh. Wait. Is it Tuesday? Check. Is it...a few minutes after noon? Check. Oh. That's normal. EVERYBODY knows that air raid sirens ALWAYS go off at noon on Tuesdays in San Francisco. You can all stop panicking now.

Sana'a Calling...

2007-02-10T20:09:00.000-05:00

Some days, I get the distinct impression that I am living in someone else's novel. That someone somewhere in the universe is creating the absurdities of my existence for the sole purpose of laughing about them later over a large latte.

Last weekend, I was checking my phone messages, and heard a few phrases in Arabic. My blood pressure rose considerably. "Where the hell did somebody get this number!??!?" I exclaimed, partially out loud to no one in particular in my empty bedroom. God forbid that I should have some kind of weird Arabic-speaking stalker. It turns out that the voice on the other end belonged to a very blond haired and blued eyed Minnesotan whom I met in Yemen. He was in town for a few days on business, and wanted to meet up.

I imagined a fun-filled day with my friend where we would do the fun things that young people do, including going out to a club. However, since he was on a business trip, he was unfortunately unable to ditch his boss, the head of a certain college in Sana'a where I once studied. The only way that I would get to see my friend was if I played tour guide and escorted the two of them around the city.

I certainly had an entertaining time, despite having to deal with the personality quirks of a somewhat demanding Yemeni gentleman. After a long day, I invited my friend and his boss to my aunt and uncle's house (where I currently live). I thought they would perhaps come in for a drink and then go on their way, but they ended up staying until almost midnight. It was an experience not to be missed, but not one that I think I have the stamina for anytime soon. Highly entertaining for all!

The more time I spent talking in Arabic and reminiscing about the wonderful parts of Yemen, the more I grew to miss it. So much so that I asked for a job at the school on the spur of the moment. Do I really want to go to back to Yemen just yet? Wouldn't I rather spend a year in the US first? Yes, and no. On the one hand, I had a great time in Yemen, and I have to come to grips with the fact I have have left the country at least every six months for the past eight years. I am addicted to international travel. Could I, and should I go back to Yemen as soon as possible if I had the opportunity, or do I need to teach myself to live in the US? Do I need to learn to deprive myself of jetting about around the globe because it is not a lifestyle within my financial and vacation time means, or should I make it my point in life to be one of those lucky few with the luxury of being an expatriate by choice? I think, being as young as I am, that I will be able to live my life as I want it. It is totally up to me. Oddly enough, though, I am starting to feel the allure of Cairo and Tunis calling to me, two places where I never really thought to live, given that my research interests are firmly in the Gulf, Arabian Peninsula (including Yemen!), and the Gulf.

So what kind of novel am I living in? Maybe it's an international political thriller...

More Misadventures of the Cute and Blonde

2007-01-06T22:24:00.000-05:00

I had a wonderful Christmas with my parents after all, and an exciting New Year with my best friend from college. Now have some holiday greetings from all the holidays that I failed to mark on this blog.

Happy Hanukkah! Blessed Solstice! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! and Eid Mubarak!

Yes, that's right. I said Eid Mubarak! I went to my local yemeni grocery store to get some goodies for a New Year's party, and coincidentally, the first day of Eid al-Adha, one of two major Muslim holidays, was December 30. I saw everyone pouring out of the mosque down the street after noon prayer in their new formal clothes, and I imagined scenes of chaos at mothers having to chase their young sons through the house to make them put on ties. This particular mosque seemed to have a nearly exclusively Arab congregation, and I tried to pretend that I was in the Middle East for a moment, until I got distracted by the rusted fire escapes, seagulls, and signs in Chinese.

I had a lovely chat, as always, in Arabic with the Yemeni proprietress of the store, full of hugs and free tea. Another lady overheard and was delighted at the novelty of a blonde girl speaking Arabic. The shop was small, and the aisles were narrow. Soon we had attracted many stares and quizzical glances from the line of customers come in to pick up their fresh lamb. Could they believe their eyes? Could they believe their ears?

One man dared to approach us. He stood caddy corner to me for some moments, before asking the female customer, tentatively, "Is she married?", referring to me.

"No, no I don't think so." She looked at me briefly. "She doesn't look like she's married."

Bright red in mortified embarrassment, I backed into a safe corner between the butcher's counter and the dairy case. Asking an intermediary to ask me if I'm married is the culturally-appropriate first step to a serious marriage offer, and if a man is considering marriage, then chances are he also has other things on his mind. I suddenly felt quite naked in my stretch jeans and form-fitting jacket. Maybe there is something to be said for wearing an abaya after all.

"You speak Arabic, right?" asked the man.

"Of course I speak Arabic! How could I have been talking to her in Arabic if I don't know it?" I fumed, wishing he would leave me alone. I instinctively refrained from making eye contact while I spoke, lest my 'seductive gaze' give him the wrong impression.

"Is she Moroccan?" asked a second man.

"No, she's American, and she's speaking Saudi [dialect.]" (I do wonder what it is that makes people think I'm Moroccan, as that's not the first time I've gotten that question.)

I finally managed to make it to the counter and pay for my purchases. I thought that I could safely make it out of the store, when I was detained by an additional posse of men sitting in chairs by the door wanting to ask me personal questions. At least they were my age.

I hereby present a list of rules for any potential suitors:

1. If you are younger than me, the difference must only be a few months. If older, you must be under 30 (ie no more than 8 years older). The man who was after me was too old. Ick. :P

2. You must be the same height or taller, at least 5'8", which coincidentally disqualifies most men of Yemeni origin.

3. You must be in this country legally by the time I sign that marriage license. I can wait for the formalities to be resolved, but I will not be barred from employment on a conviction for aiding and abetting immigration fraud.

4. I want at least one child. Two are ideal, three are acceptable, and I will be seriously unhappy with more. No large family for me, thank you.

5. My kids either get my religion, or they get to pick in the event of differing religious practices among their parents.

6. You must have a college education, or seriously working on one. I understand that many people in the age range I have outlined are still working on their degrees for whatever reason (traditional school age, illness, working through school, military service, etc.), and demonstrating determination and progress towards that degree counts.

7. You must be doing something with your life, and not be loafing around all day. Being a house-husband, however, is work, and is perfectly acceptable. ;)

8. You must not have an abusive temper

9. You have to eat my cooking

10. I think you should have to understand what it's like to spend a certain amount of time outside of your own culture. And like it. Note that I am not specifying the culture, but having that experience would help to better understand me.

11. I have to get to know you before I agree. No matchmakers and arranged marriages for me!

I'll probably end up married to a (Muslim) of Indian origin engineer of some sort, and he'll get transferred to Riyadh, and I'll have to suffer through life in Riyadh. When Jordanian taxi drivers got too friendly, and more recently Yemeni clothing salesmen, I used to tell them that my husband was an engineer in Riyadh and we were on vacation. My karma for lying so blatantly will probably be to end up in that situation in reality. Since many engineers in Saudi Arabia are Indian Muslims, there you go. Although if he looked like Shahrukh Khan, then that wouldn't be so bad...

Welcome to Wally World

2006-12-22T12:15:00.000-05:00

My Christmas is quickly turning into some kind of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I was originally meant to meet up with my parents in Colorado Springs, transferring through DIA no less, and then a major blizzard hit.

My parents were stranded in Chicago after coming all the way from Saudi Arabia. They had managed to reroute their flight to Denver two days later, with a stopover in Vegas. I was told yesterday, after waiting in line for nearly 7 hours to have the privilege of changing my canceled itenerary, that the only time I could get to any airport in Colorado was the 26 of December at the earliest. Luckily, the second time I went to the counter, I was told that I could have a flight to Las Vegas Thursday (last) night. I am about to go back to the airport to meet my parent's flight that is coming in, and then we will all drive to Colorado. It's about a 12 hour trip.

Vegas Road Trip here we come!

The Party's Over

2006-12-03T12:50:00.000-05:00

"This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no foolin' around," said an official in Bahrain's Ministry of Information, Tourism Affairs Department recently when asked to comment on Bahrain's new state after the implementation of changes in the law barring the recruitment of foreign bands and entertainment, and alcohol and discos in residential areas or near mosques and schools.

Actual statements and real news on the subject may be found here in the Gulf Daily News.

"From ancient grudge, break to new mutiny/ Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean."

2006-12-02T02:18:00.000-05:00

Dear Israel,

Thank you for giving Hizbollah control of Lebanon.

Insincerely Yours,

The Author

Around the World in 80 Hours

2006-11-18T13:45:00.000-05:00

Well, I just returned from my around-the-world tour, and let me tell u- It was AWESOME!!!
Ha ha- jk! Lol lol!!!! ;-)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If I ever use 'msg speak' without comedic intent, please shoot me.

Seriously, though, I have been all around the world this past week without any need to sneak myself into the cargo hold of a 747, no physically taxing layovers, and no airplane food. With the city of San Francisco, California as my backyard, I:

-took a walk on a secluded Japanese sea cliff, and then strolled on over to
-a garden on the outskirts of Amsterdam
-went shopping in NYC
-had lunch in Hong Kong
-took pictures in Barcelona
-had a snack somewhere on the Russo-Ukranian border
-stopped for tea and bokhoor in Sana'a
-and entered the offices of a Tunisian university

Given both the climate and visible foliage in this city, and the vast diversity of its immigrant community, I can go anywhere. I can even be in America.

I am coming to terms with my home country, learning to love and appreciate it, learning to define what being American means for me personally. Being happy where I am before the wanderlust sets in again and I'm hallucinating that I've got air tickets and valid entry visas for the country my heart desires. I don't think I've ever been truly happy where I am, always wishing to be somewhere that I'm not, when the reality of a place does not match up to the idealized and glossed over version in my mind, glittering and tantalizing in stark comparison to the locale of the moment.

There are aspects of the middle east that I miss, and I'm trying to find substitutes and ways to fill the void in my spoiled existence, but for the moment it would take some effort to convince me to live there (ok, not really), but I can say that I am happy to be in America for the first time in years. I am ready to reinvent myself as a semi-normal American. An Ex-Expat if you will.

I think all I needed was to live in a city that had enough exposure to the rest of the world, enough cultures coming together that I could feel at home. After all, back when I lived in Houston, many of my friends were first-generation American, and the best treat that I could get as a reward was to pick out a snack at one of the international supermarkets. I wanted to be like all the other kids, who had things in their lunch box like dried squid strips, or brazilian tapioca in a red wine sauce. And can you really blame me if my parents used to take me to a Lebanese restaurant every Sunday for a year before I ever set foot in the middle east, where I gobbled down shwarma and stared at a poster for an Amr Diab concert, trying to pick out the letters?

My sister, on the other hand, was born an expatriate, and forms a national minority in her international school. She knows America as a mythical land whose history exists as a series of stores that might as well be fairy tales, without any concept that its varied cities and states are all part of the same land. She feels a subtle social difference at only knowing English, and right now thinks it is really cool to be from Latin America. We will see where she goes in life, what languages she will learn and how a true expatriate will assimilate back into a world she barely knows.

Welcome to the Hotel California

2006-10-22T00:56:00.000-04:00

I lugged my two suitcases up to the customs agent at San Francisco International Airport.
"Are you home, now?" he asked.
"Yeah, yeah I guess I am." I smiled as the realization hit me.

I have officially moved to San Francisco. I mailed in my voter registration already, and I'm looking forward to getting a new driver's license sometime in the next week, before it expires.

I think this is a beautiful city, and I am excited to (inshallah) be working here. I'm still working on getting a job.

I am, however, going through withdrawal/culture shock. There are no more subtitles on my tv, al-Jazeera is unavailable as a channel choice, there is no more call to prayer, people wear tank tops and men occaisonaly go topless down on the beach, the grocery store has a whole liquor aisle, look at all the white people, and there is NO MORE ARABIC. Well, maybe a little.

A few days ago, I stopped to get some lunch at a falafel stand on my way home from a job interview. I ordered a chicken shwarma and a drink IN ENGLISH, mind you, and the man behind the counter stopped his sandwich work and looked up at me, squinting and looking utterly confused.
"Where are you from?" he asked.
"Exuse me?"
"You know...where are you from?"
"America?" I replied, the upward, questioning tone at the end of the word denoting my own, equal confusion.
"Do...do you speak Arabic?" That's not a question I was expecting, but was immensely flattered nonetheless.
"Aiwa!," meaning yes, was my automatic response. And we launched into as brief a conversation as possible without holding up the sandwich line. The cashier/owner of the restaurant was also glad to chat for a bit, oddly switching between English and Arabic every other sentence. He was greatly amused by the whole incident, as was I. And to think that all of that happened because I said 'shwarma' in the arabic way when I ordered it! (no foreign clothes, jewelry, or makeup on that day, and plese remember that I am blonde and pale and do not look arab in the slightest- rather I look German) I mean what was I suppossed to do? I'm not saying Bahrain without pronouncing the 'h' just to please the rest of you silly people!

So, I have a question. What the heck kind of Arabic accent do I have? Meaning what regional accent shows through when I'm conversing in Modern Standard. This is not the first time I was mistaken for a native speaker...

-A Yemeni hotel employee was certain that I was from the Gulf! He didn't beleive me that I was American until I switched to English! (only about 1 minute later)

-Other Yemenis, though certain of my foreign status, say that my Arabic has a definite Syrian/Lebanese feel to it, which would make sense, since I studied in Jordan and also had a Lebanese teacher.

-But several Saudis think I sound Moroccan! I've never had any exposure to Moroccan dialect, so I don't get it.

-Or is it really easy to tell that I'm American from how I speak Arabic?

I want some way to have a definite answer.

Election Countdown 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...

2006-09-16T03:25:00.000-04:00

Four days to the September 20 presidential and local elections and counting. I guess I should be releasing a new video on the topic, but there are so many facets of the elections that I am having difficulties coming up with a coherent script, and there are so many more great posters that go up every day faster than I can photograph them, but they are so great that I don't want to leave them out. If you ever played the computer game Zork: Grand Inquisitor, then you may get a joke I am thinking about making involving campaign posters and one of the presidential candidates. Oh, what the hey. Here you go.

I watched an interview on al-Jazeera with Faisal bin Shamlan (the only credible opposition presidential candidate in the history of Yemen). I am not fluent yet so of course I did not understand everything that was being said. I was in the frustrating position of understanding the question, or the answer, but usually not both at the same time. I did get some gems out of the interview though.

-Many tribal leaders just want a normal, representative government. They are leaning towards bin Shamlan.
-On the off chance that bin Shamlan actually wins a majority (estimated as up to 70%!) we don't know whether mechanisms to transfer power exist, and whether they would work.
-Several accusations of corruption were hurled at the current regime.

I've been having a heck of a time arguing with some American students here who insist that the US would not work with bin Shamlan because he his Islahi, and that the disruption of order would be too great if he were to win. Now I can see martial law being declared and other illegal tactics, including violence, to prevent bin Shamlan from taking power if he were to win. But that we would refuse to work with him becuase he is Islahi? False statement! Although bin Shamlan represents a coalition of five parties that includes Islah (the premier opposition party, happens to be Islamist), bin Shamlan is otherwise an independent who does not actually belong to any of those five parties, so he's not a Nasserite or a Socialist either, and any one who says that he is, is committing a fallacy. I fully understand why the U.S. government works with Saleh, because really we have no other choice, and he does have the tribal/political connections to get things done. I'd say that if bin Shamlan wins the election, that would be pretty solid proof that he has enough support to rule, expecially since he has to win despite all the voter fraud that I predict will occur.

Bin Shamlan's basic platform, aside from fighting poverty, is one of political reform to reinstate old term limits and have a truly independent judiciary, among other elements of reform. His campaign promises are actually a step in the right direction towards real democracy, a goal which the U.S. swears that it wants. Electing bin Shamlan is not the same thing as electing Hamas or Hizbollah. Bin Shamlan has no radical foreign policy agenda that the Bush administration would have a hard time swallowing. A more democratic Yemen would show her neighbors a thing or two. The only problem I could see with bin Shamlan is the possibility of instability and violence in a prolonged succession struggle.

WTF?

2006-09-12T12:26:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary,

My personal life has just taken a turn for the bizarre.

An employee at my school (not a teacher) asked me last night if I would have dinner with him this evening. I assumed that he meant dinner with some of the Yemeni staff, who often dine together. I thought of how a pleasant evening it would be to sit and chat with such friendly people.

However, as it turns out, his intention was to take me to a restaurant, alone. Just me and him. And not in the large group I had anticipated. That is just absolutely not done in Yemen, ever. Unless the people in question are a married couple or relatives which are not elegible to marry each other. It was a situation that implied something about a social relationship which I am not willing to encourage. Needless to say, the day I go on a date in Yemen is when pigs fly or Hades covers over with ice, or something to that effect.

"Where are all the others?" I asked.
"What others?"
"So you mean that we are going to a restaurant, just you and me?"
"Yes..." He made a funny face that I was unsure how to interpret.
"Why?" I asked, glaring at him.
"Is there a problem?"
Of course there's a problem here, you bloody idiot! Or at least, that's what I wanted to yell at him, but I didn't. Though not for lack of knowing how to translate the appropriate idioms into Arabic, the language of our conversation. From that point, I tried to speak slowly, and clearly, my voice getting increasingly louder, as. if. talking. to. an. extremely. dense. person.
"Because...becuase this is Yemen. And here in Yemen, unrelated men and women don't do out to restaurants alone."
"Sure they do."
"No, no they don't." Seriously, like I was going to fall for that one?

I should have seen it coming when he called me the most beautiful woman in Yemen last night. I thought he was just joking, since he says stuff like that all the time to everybody.

The only romantic interest from anyone in this country that I shall entertain is, oh, well maybe I shouldn't be writing that sort of thing here. I'm leaving in 10 days so the point is rather moot anyway.

September 11

2006-09-11T09:45:00.000-04:00

I have a hard time believeing that it really has been five years since September 11, 2001. It really still seems like it was just a year ago, perhaps because of the enormous effect those events have had on my world. It is the day in history that has/will define(d) my generation.

I remember very vividly where I was, and what I was doing.

It started off as a normal Tuesday morning. I was a senior in high school in the middle of my AP U.S. Government class, the second period of the day. We were discussing some facet or other of the Bill of Rights, when a secretary from the front office came in and handed two pages of a CNN article printed on neon pink paper to the teacher. "Two planes crashed into the World Trade Center, and a third plane might have just hit the Pentagon!" said the office aide.

After she left, my teacher passed the article around the room. One girl from NYC started crying, and for some reason I remember what she was wearing, even though I don't remember anyone else's clothes from that day. Mr. S decided not to continue our previous discussion, but rather to let us go early.

I had a free period, so I marched right into my dormitory and up the stairs to the computer/tv lounge, where I saw the second tower collapse live. Shortly afterwards a faculty member came in to announce that we were having a special assembly, and all girls should report immediately to the auditorium.

Every other day, on the hill up to the auditorium, we would talk and laugh and gossip during the opportunity to see friends during classes. Not that day. It was eerily silent.

Once we were all seated and accounted for, the headmistress bean detailing to us every single thing that she knew about what had happened so far that day, including evacuations and road closures in the DC area. Girls gre more hysterical by the minute, not knowing if their friends and family were safe. I didn't know anyone personally who was in New York, an airplane, or the Pentagon at the time, so I was not as distressed as they were. I was in shock, vaguely worried about being so close to the CIA, another possible target, and could not really comprehend the chaos and the amount of lives lost. Instead, I calmy sat in that auditorium seat and predicted a rise in the racism towards those of Middle Eastern origin, and I cursed Osama bin Laden. Yes, I was already well aware of who he was at that point in my life as an astute resident of Saudi Arabia, and he was my number one suspect.

Classes were not cancelled that day, under the assumption that having students stay on campus was the safest option, and as long as they're at school, they might as well learn something. Were were, howeverm informed that our senior class retreat fieldtrip, which would have happened the next day, was cancelled.

I tried to call my parents several times that day, but I could never get through. The school's telephone system was perpetually busy from the volume of people trying to call in and out to say that they were alive.

That is what I remember, and what I will never forget.

Books-a-Million

2006-09-05T15:59:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary,

I just returned from a wonderful place, as wonderful as being a kid in a candy store. I even had to stop myself from skipping down the aisles in glee. Not that there was any room to skip, as people were pushing and shoving all over the place and carts with boxes of books were barreling over everything in sight. All these sights and more are to be had at the Sana’a Book Expo 2006!

I have been awaiting this day for months, the day when I could finally go and see all these Arab literary and academic treasures for myself. It was quite a cultural experience, with stalls from several corners of the Arab World filling the convention hall.

I have learned that I can’t understand Egyptian very well at all. For some reason the Egyptian vendors all assumed that I understood Egyptian, and when I apologized in fu97a (MSA) to tell them that I could not understand Egyptian, they either assumed I was an ignorant foreigner and switched to English, or blithely continued on in fu97a. Whatever happened to the educated, as one might assume of a book publisher, speaking fu97a? My shami (Levantine dialect), however, is better than it has ever been. It was so refreshing to speak in Jordanian to one Jordanian gentleman, that before I realized it, I was flirting with him. A little. It’s not my fault if he’s good-looking, single, well educated, Christian, and has a US work visa. OK, not that I care so much about religion, but it would make him more marriageable as far as all the other parties (the extended families) are concerned. (This country is really getting to me with all its obsession with marriage- way more than half the girls my age are already married!) He gave me a business card for the publishing company and wrote his e-mail address on it, which is one of the Arab equivalents of asking me for my number. So, should I register for an extra e-mail account so that he can’t track me from it and be penpals?

When I heard that this was going to be an international expo, I envisioned that there would be publishers from all over the Arab world. Well, what I found was that most of the stalls were from Yemen, Egypt, Syria, and Jordan. I saw one from Sudan, one from Qatar, a handful of Saudi, two Kuwaiti, three Omani, and two Emirati. There were no other African nations present. But the biggest shock of all- Where, o where, pray tell, were all the Lebanese? I only saw THREE Lebanese companies, and they weren’t the famous ones that I had been looking forward to visiting. Dar al-‘Alm l-l-Malayin, whose fabulous books I have purchased in other Arab countries, was nowhere in sight. Neither was Libraire du Liban, and how I do covet some of their dictionaries... I was rather hoping as well, against all hope, that the publisher of Banat ar-Riyadh (It has a Lebanese publisher although it is a Saudi novel) would be there. No, no Banat ar-Riyadh (Girls of Riyadh) for me. No Harry Potter either, even though I went to every single Egyptian stall. (Grrrrrr…..) The official Arab publisher of Harry Potter is Egyptian. The official Saudi government publishing booth had a great display, but of course, in typical Saudi fashion, all the books that I wanted (one of their academic journals for economics) were for DISPLAY ONLY. So said the sign (in Arabic) in large black letters.

Most of the books available were religious books, or university textbooks. Or guides to computer software and programming. Literature for adults (oh, there were kiddie books aplenty) was severely lacking from the selected titles, which really makes me wonder if reading literature is not as common as it once was. Most of the literature that I saw was English lit at the English bookstores, except for the bookstore next to the entrance chock full of Naguib Mahfouz, may he rest in peace. I was going to get the first book of the Cairo Trilogy, and then I remembered that if I got one, I would want to get them all. Anyway, I don’t have that much room in my suitcase, and I would not be able to understand the dialogue in colloquial Cairene. I’m afraid my reading level also does not cover comparitive or exaggerative literary devices, ie figurative language. There were also stalls solely with educational software titles, and some stalls that were mostly kids VCDs (bootleg!) with some educational software to attempt to justify it as educational. However, I seriously must protest that anyone would try to consider Noir and Vampire Hunter D (violent anime with other adult subject matter that should give it an R rating) as children’s cartoons. Everything else for sale on the shelf next to it was definitely for children, so I pray that certain scenes were edited out altogether and the Arabic subtitles bowdlerized.

At one point I was approached by a group of ladies and asked in English if I had possibly seen any books on Semantics, as they had been looking everywhere for some to no avail. I still don’t know what Semantics is, and I didn’t understand when she switched to Arabic. I think it has something to do with logic, but I couldn’t remember the word for logic at the time, so I couldn’t ask her.

So what did I buy? Basic Microeconomics and Basic Macroeconomics! It’s the only way I’ll ever learn the terms in Arabic. The amazing thing is that I can understand all the new phrases from the context, which is an infinitely more natural way to learn and retain them than from a business glossary. I have never seen an actual economics textbook in Arabic until today (unless maybe somebody were to have taken me to Dammam? Oh well, guess I just saved you the trip), and I was amazed to see all genres available, even Econometrics! I held off on the Econometrics, since I really don’t need to try and do Arabic and calculus at the same time. Even if I used to grade Econometrics homework. No, thank you.

The HGC Show: Episode 1, Yemeni Election Special

2006-09-01T18:42:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the first episode of the HGC show. It's kind of like this blog, except with sound. And video. Polyglot Poetry and Youtube are the exclusive homes of the HGC Show. Accept no imitations or substitutions.

It's in Arabic (yes, I know there are mistakes all over the place, I didn't catch them until after the final version. Some of the mistakes occured in the narration, though my notes were correct, and some were there all along). It has English subtitles, and educated speakers of both languages will be able to tell that I am not a translator, and sometimes the Arabic was a direct translation of the English in my head, and sometimes the English subtitales are a very stilted direct translation from when the words came directly channeled in Arabic. The important thing is that I now know what to do next time, as this is my first video EVER. If I get really into this I'll have to buy a real video camera and a microphone when I'm back in the States, instead of using my digital still camera and the microphone in my computer.

This is a mostly serious news broadcast, meant to demonstrate to my family that I really can speak Arabic (they don't believe me!), and that my hair is somewhat red. If you watch the whole news segment you get a cool surprise at the end! Enjoy!

On Politics and the English Language

2006-08-26T11:10:00.000-04:00

What is wrong with the term "Islamo-Facism"?

Read this article from The Nation to find out. It expresses everything that I had wished to articulate on the matter, only much more eloquently.

Speaking of politics, I have been given the homework assignment to write a composition on a political, not social issue. Having done quite a few political essays for previous assignments, does anyone have any good ideas that do not involve the war in Lebanon, Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan, nuclear programs in Iran and North Korea, Russia and how it strategically uses its petroleum resources, the Yemeni presidential elections, or Israel? Now bear in mind that this topic must be appropriate for Yemen, and must not involve me arguing a point of view that would get me in trouble with the Yemeni government.

In other news, I have finally replaced the ugly, tacky, filthy bits of masking tape containing penned in Arabic letters with real laptop keyboard arabic letter decals. If you've ever seen my computer, you know the ones. I now have a much cleaner laptop, and look forward to many happy months of Arabic typing. Until I get a new laptop.

PLUTO IS A PLANET, DAMMIT!

2006-08-25T13:42:00.000-04:00

I believe in you, Pluto!

They...They can't deprogram me! I won't let them! Now repeat after me, children, "Pluto is the Ninth Planet. Pluto is the Ninth Planet. Pluto is the Ninth Planet..."

Sure, I respect that the members of the International Astronomical Union are intelligent, rational scientists with excellent reasons for voting the way that they did.

HOWEVER, according to the New York Times,

The final voting was by some 400 to 500 of the 2,400 astronomers who registered for the congress; many others had already left.
Pointing to the very small fraction of the world’s astronomers who had been in Prague and thus eligible to vote, Alan Stern, lead investigator for New Horizons, NASA’s mission to Pluto, called the resolution “laughable.”

The number of voting astronomers was nowhere near a quorum. I demand a revote, this time with more than 50% of members voting, before I shall take their word that Pluto should no longer be classified as a planet. The science world could use some proper parliamentary procedure.

Pluto, you will always be in my heart.

And Now, Back to Yemen

2006-08-21T15:48:00.000-04:00

One of the ironies of Yemen is that one of the more expensive meals that Sana'a has to offer is at an Ethiopian restaurant. Not that my ever so tasty meal exceeded USD $3.50.

I am hopped up on Ethiopian coffee right now. Man, that stuff is good. I only had one teensy cup, but I don't drink caffienated beverages very often, so I am rather sensitive to it. I ran all the way up the stairs to the fifth floor and was not winded in the slightest.

Another coffee related irony is that Yemenis do not appear to have much of a coffee culture anymore, even though coffee originated in Yemen. Most of the prime coffee land has been taken over by the much more profitable qat, the national narcotic. And the remaining coffee beans are for export. They do, however, drink something vile conocted from the roasted husks.

What is the best thing that happened to me this week? I snagged a bag of frozen broccolli at the grocery store! Hot dog!

Cheers,

H

Anulling a Marriage, with Two Kids? Only in Saudi Arabia

2006-08-21T12:21:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,

Yes, I'm supposed to be writing about Yemen.

There are many worthwhile non-Yemen topics I could be discussing, but I have decided today to share with you the absolute strangest thing I have read in a good, long while. The link to the Arab News article is in the title of this post.

A Saudi couple have been happily married for several years and have two children. Everything about their marriage was perfectly legal. But somehow the wife's relatives have managed to get a court to annul her marriage, despite the fact that they have children, on some very bizarre pretext having to do with the fact that the wife's family is of a higher social class.

Would somebody well versed in Saudi tribal politics please explain how social ancestry is grounds for anulling a marriage? I am thoroughly confused.

I <3 Yemen

2006-08-13T00:47:00.000-04:00

Sana'a, Yemen.

Dinner: $1.50
ATM Withdrawal Fee: $1.00
Real Jasmine Oil Perfume: $0.50
Half Kilo of Cardamon: $3.50
Island of the Blue Dolphins in Arabic: $1.75
Examination for New Glasses Prescription: $5.00

Being able to carry on a conversation about Arab politics with the optometrist for half an hour while getting stuck in the office by the monsoon? PRICELESS.

Some things, money can't buy. For everything else, there're Yemeni Riyals. Where the largest denomination bill of 1000 is approximately $5.00.

A new car would take a wheelbarrow full of money, so rather than invent a larger denomination, the government allows people to take out US dollars, even from the ATM, and prices on luxury goods (ex. Raymond Weil watches) are all in USD. Otherwise there would be no room on price tags for all those zeros.

In other news, posters and rear windshield decals of Hassan Nasrallah, head of Hizbollah, are the new, hot accessory. Collect the whole set of fun poses! The one with the AK-47, the seagulls, the Dome of the Rock, or the Dome of the Rock AND Seagulls!

And no, I'm not buying one. Yes, it would be funny, but I refuse to purchase anything that might possibly provide financial support to Hizbollah. My monetary assistance to Lebanon goes through more innocuous channels, thank you. And no, I really don't want Israelis to die in this whole mess either. 'Kay? Tamam? Wa9'7?

Allahu akbar!

PS My abaya is falling apart, so I have to get a new one. :(

Sana'ani Postcard

2006-08-08T11:09:00.000-04:00

Greetings from Sana'a!

This is a beautiful old city, whose stone houses (some of them upwards of 600 years old!) are a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Friends, myself, and Abdul-Kariim (one of my teachers) are atop one of these buildings in this photograph. Abdul-Kariim says hello, inbetween drags on his cigarette. Life is Such a Drag is the main philosophy of Abdul-Kariim.

Par-TAY!

2006-07-27T14:22:00.000-04:00

I am way too tired right now to bother messing around with the internet to get the chicken picture to load. I was just been dancing for five hours straight.

What does once dance to at a Yemeni upper-class girls' party?
-Nancy Ajram (Especially the song in her new Coke commercial. Over, and over and over and over and over again. And then some more.)
-all the top Khaleeji (trans: from the Gulf) hits
-50 Cent
-the Black-Eyed Peas
-Britney Spears
-Vengaboys
-the Backstreet Boys
-and lots and lots of Shakira

I can now officially say that I know how to belly dance! (Though knowing and doing well are two different things).

But best of all, I won the Karaoke contest! Huzzah!

And last night was also an adventure.

The months of July and August are prime monsoon season here in Yemen. I thought that by monsoon in a desert country people meant that it would sprinkle a little bit for five minutes in the afternoon, as it has been wont to do for the past two weeks. I was sure wrong when we got caught in a downpour on the way to the Sheraton to sit at the bar and pretend to be rich and famous (and make fun of the drunken Gulferns). Gale force winds and large drops falling at a fast rate confronted us on our way to find a taxi. We were eventually the fortunate passengers of a well-used automobile posessing a multiply cracked windshield, chipped rearview mirror, and two holes in the floor that provided a nice view of the road below, akin to the land version of the glass bottom boat. Furthermore, there was a half centimeter open gap in my door because it would not close all the way, and one of the windows was kept up by means of a scredriver wedged in the window frame. Water was, of course, streaming into the vehicle from all of the cracks and holes. Given the amount of rain relative to time (rain=dependent variable, time=independent variable) and the non-existence of storm drains, the roads were flooded. Alhamdulillah our car did not stall, but water sure was coming in through those holes in the floor. We were about ready to start reciting the prayer hanging from the rearview mirror.

From the Karaoke Queen, With Love.

Google Now Has Beta Arabic Capability!

2006-07-25T11:39:00.000-04:00

Huzzah!

After years of waiting, Google now has Arabic-English and English-Arabic translation in beta stage! Now I have a decent an FREE online dictionary service!

I heart Google...

(Chicken) Surprise!

2006-07-24T06:28:00.000-04:00

Ha! I bet y'all thought this post post would be realted to Yemen in some fashion. Nope! Surprise!

I am taking this brief interlude to present to you a recipe I concocted at the end of April, which, for lack of a better name, I am forced to call Chicken Surprise. Because 'Apricot-Walnut Chicken in a Tahini Sauce with a Side of Rice and Grilled Vegetables' takes too long.

Easy Apricot-Walnut Chicken

[picture goes here- I'm having difficulties uploading; Oh, how I love you, TeleYemen who keeps disconnecting at the crucial moment!]

Ingredients:

-One boneless skinless chicken breast cut into strips

-1/4 cup chopped walnuts

-1/2 cup chopped dried apricots

-salt

-pepper

-cinnamon

-parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme (no, really)

-2 cloves crushed garlic or equivalent of garlic powder

-several spoonfuls of tahini (sesame butter)

-sumac (a purpley-red spice available at your local Middle Eastern grocery)

-one tomato, quartered

-2 quarters of a medium onion

-1 cup basmati rice (imported is better than American basmati)

-6 pods of cardamon

-2 cubes of chicken bouillion

-several tablespoons of oil or butter

First preheat the oven to 450 F. Then put the tomato and onion with salt, pepper, and sumac to broil for 5-10 minutes on a piece of aluminum foil on a baking sheet.

Cook the rice with oil, cardamon, and chicken flavoring.

Cook chicken with salt, pepper, garlic, cinnamon, parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme in a frying pan.

Toast walnuts in a small saucepan. Then add apricots, cinnamon, and 1/4 cupt to 1/2 cup of water depending on altitude. Let it simmer until it has become a sauce paste, stirring occaisonally to prevent sticking to the pan. Add in the tahini, stirring it in to the apricot sauce, and you're done! Chicken, rice, broiled vegatables, and sauce.

Serves 2; best with a side of tea.

al-Siyasa wa al-Diplomasiya (Politics and Diplomacy)

2006-07-15T07:38:00.000-04:00

I have completely different teachers this term than I did last term. I have reason to believe that we were switched because a student in another class complaine that he did not get along personality or politically wise with his professor. I would love to know what sins my class has committed that we are now deprived of our most excellent professor, and made to study under a professor whom we may not get along with. What is to say that we will fare any better than the previous pupils?

And what am I to answer when asked my opinion on posible solutions to the state of armed conflict between Israel and Lebanon? If I don't have a credible or reasonable answer in English, then how on earth am I meant to give an eloquent reply in Arabic? (Or what happens if, God forbid, my answer is vastly different than the teacher's own opinion?) It is such a complicated situation, I do not see how the teacher has any right to glare at me for not having an answer. All I have at my disposal is a net of what-ifs and maybes, conditions contingent upon others. International crises never have neat, snappy little simple answers.

Now comes the end of this afternoon's complaints, as I must now run some errands and attack mountains of homework.

This is a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

2006-07-14T12:32:00.000-04:00

Henna has long been praised for its hair conditioning qualities, making hair sleek and shiny. However, using it as a conditioner apparently presupposes that one's hair is dark brown or black. Despite the fact that different times and treatment methods are suggested when using henna as a conditioner instead of an actual hair dye, henna powder mixed at home into a conditioner as per the conditioning instructions WILL turn blonde hair red. Commercial shampoos (such as Sunsilk) containing henna are, however, safe. This has been a public service announcement, from ex-Blonde American Girl.

My classmates tell me that my new accidental shade is quite fetching, though I have yet to get used to it, being (various shades of) blonde my entire life until yesterday afternoon.

Ana 7azeena katheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!! Leysh fiih loan ajdeed? :(

Marriage and Mayhem

2006-07-07T16:18:00.000-04:00

Perhaps you have read tales in the Arab News of fisticuffs exchanged between women at wedding parties, or even massive brawls, on account of unauthorized photography. I was very nearly party to a similar event here in Sana'a.

A schoolmate of mine innocently took a picture of the bride, thinking that photography would be permissible since she observed other women photographing the bride. Besides, pictures at weddings were perfectly normal when she was growing up in Tehran. A woman in her 60s immediately ran up to her and started shouting that such a picture (without permission) was horribly shameful. The yelling granny then wrestled the camera away from my schoolmate, no easy feat considering her comparative height and strength, and tried to break it. She did not understand at first the concept of digital cameras and the possibility of erasing the offending photograph, so when she could not find the hatch for the film, she felt no compulsion against trying to smash it. My schoolmate, of course, was yelling and trying to grab her camera back, which attracted an enormous group of onlookers to simultaneously intervene before the impending destruction of the camera, and yell at my schoolmate for her offense. Later that night, another woman came up to us, yelling, asking if we had camera phones. She insisted that she had seen three girls with camera phones snapping illicit pictures, and she was awfully insistent that we were some of the culprits.

Aside from the photography debacle, it was a beautiful wedding. I enjoyed the opportunity to observe so many different styles of clothing from different Yemeni regions and social classes, including some of the most incredible dresses and jewelry that I have ever seen. I felt remarkably underdressed by comparison with my simple makeup and skirt and top, rather than beaded gown and tri-color eye shadow.

I was most amused by the catering at this event. At the entrance to the wedding hall, every woman was handed a plastic bag with water, fruit soda, a pocket pack of tissues, and a hamburger and french fries (sans ketchup) in a small styrofoam box. I love how hamburgers can be exotic, expensive food in certain circumstances.

For the majority of the evening, the man and women had dance parties in separate rooms. Towards the end, we put our abayas and scarves back on, and the groom and bride's father came in for the actual ceremony. Friends of the bride helped her stand up from the couch on the flower-backed dais where she had been sitting, and the groom and her parents came to join her (at least I think they were the bride's parents rather than the groom's parents). Family members then showered them with flower petals, fake snow, and silly string. The bride and groom put flower garlands on each other, fed each other three sips of red soda out of decorated goblets, and then cut the cake and fed each other cake. I had my first piece of wedding cake and found it to be pretty tasteless. I then vowed that when I get married I will strive for a cake that incorporates tastiness as an important factor into its size-cost matrix. No cardboard cake for my guests.

Real Men Wear Kilts

2006-06-26T06:07:00.000-04:00

Greetings to all and sundry from the capital of the Republic of Yemen. Sana'a is a beautiful mountain city of historic stone houses.

Thus begins my transition from whiny college student to the coolheaded student of Arabic that you see today. As you may remember, the last post that I wrote was in a moment of extreme duress in the second-to-last week before my college graduation. To be fair, I gave my dear classmates more than their share of annoyances. But all of that is behind me now, as I take my shiny new B.A. out into the wide world, to an ancient land struggling to find its place in the modern world.

Sheba. Arabia Felix. Center of the ancient incense trade, home to wealthy merchants, clever queens, and the most expensive honey in the world. To the modern mind, Yemen has lost much of its former grandeur, being reknowned instead foral-Qaeda training camps, the highest birthrate in the Middle East, the lowest per capita income in the Arab World, and an inordinate amount of GDP and natural resources spent on trees for the leafy narcotic qat. To the young student of Near Eastern studies, enthralled both with the exotic tales of old and modern political economy, Yemen is perhaps the most fascinating place on the planet.

Yemen: where real mean wear kilts.

I hate group projects

2006-05-14T23:28:00.000-04:00

I am in the middle of writing a group paper and presentation. Out of the three lovely ladies involved, I am the only native English speaker. This brings its extra share of frustrations to the insidious invention that is the group project. My comrades did not understand my writing until I had to explain it to them in time-wasting detail. They then applauded my advanced command of the English language and insisted that I write the introduction and the conclusion. Of course, they had to nitpick every word anyway. The icing on the cake comes with the almost-final draft that they sent me for native-speaker proofreading. Someone took my perfect sentence and shredded it it bits. Why can they not trust my perfect grammar? Why did they have to create extra work for me?

My original sentence: "The new chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben S. Bernanke, has had an illustrious career of publications and teaching as an economist in academia."

The bizarre abomination of a sentence: "Currently the new chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben S. Bernanke has an illustrious career of publications and teaching as an economist in academia"

The Highlands of Makkah

2006-05-13T23:01:00.000-04:00

I realize that Saudi Arabia has its share of infrastructure problems, the most notorious being the open sewers tha plague the slums of Jeddah. However, I had always assumed that somehow Makkah was immune to some of the problems of poverty. That in a holy city people would be more willing to help their neighbors to live in better conditions. (Of course, the contradictions are evident in the luxury tents that some people pay $1000 or more a night to rent as hajj accomodations.)

The Arab News article (link in the post title above) tells a different story of the trials that those who live in the hills and mountains around Makkah must endure. They lack real roads and reliable electricity and running water.

Grah!

2006-04-24T21:48:00.000-04:00

It is the 24 of April. I should be frolicking outdoors in shorts. Can someone please explain why it is 30 degrees F (below freezing), and I had to run and find my winter coat?

Syrian Ambassador's Speech

2006-04-13T02:03:00.000-04:00

If you click on the title link, you will get an audio recording of the speech given at the Colorado College on April 7, 2006 by Dr. Imad Moustapha, Syrian Ambassador to the US . He is an absolute master at phrasing his words just so to convey exactly what he wants to convey, a briliant diplomat with precise control over the nuances of the English language. He also knew how to use just the right amount of humor.

Topics of the speech: Syria and Israel. Iraq. Syria and Lebanon.

This speech also includes a secret part where he told everyone in the room that the words that followed were never to be shared in public!

He said exactly what I expected him to say. (Syria wants peace, if only Israel would cooperate. The Americans must persuade Israel to take up the course of peace. The Iraq war was a bad idea. Syria is entirely against militant Islamists and the practice of insurgents going into Iraq from over the Syrian border. Syrai had absoultely nothing to do with the assisination of former Lebanese PM Raiq al-Hariri, and Syria is fully cooperating with the UN investigation and just as eager to find out the culprit as the rest of the world.)

It's now midnight, so don't expect to get any further analysis out of me until later. I intend to pull out some great quotes for you. Oh, and the whole thing including a Q&A session is an hour and a half.

Saudi Arabia May Join Nuclear Club

2006-04-10T00:00:00.000-04:00

Lovely. Because all we need is some idiot to steal equipment and materials and siphon it out to al-Qaeda supporters. If you don't believe it oculd happen, I suggest you consider the fact that the majority of weapons found in al-Qaeda hideouts were stolen from the National Guard. Pakistan already has a nuclear bomb, and with A. Q. Khan so willing to share the secrets of its production, what's to say that some other enterprising Pakistani scientist would not try the same thing, turning an atomic energy program into a weapons factory? I would also really hate to see the Saudi/Iran rivalry for control of the Gulf go nuclear. And then there's Israel to consider, though I think Iran might be more likely to threaten nuclear attack than Saudi. At least at the official government level; who knows what a-bomb-armed terrorists might attempt.

(The title of this post is a link to a news article from UPI).

Foreign Labor Discrimination in the Gulf

2006-04-06T00:12:00.000-04:00

In brief response to my previous post, yes, I had purposefully worded it to make my life more glamorous. The title ought to have been a big clue. Both are university-sponsored events containing audiences of 50 people at least, so I am by no means special by virtue of a private audience, though I did have inviations before most of the student body.

The American Ambassador to Kuwait said nothing more interesting than what I can find on the Economist Intelligence Unit, and failed to answer my questions to a degree of satisfaction. (1. If cooperation with America is looked upon suspiciously in the Gulf by those not in high government positions, how can Kuwaiti NGOs successfully cooperate with the US government? 2. Can you give comment as to the success of the Kuwaitization campaign?) He merely gave further general overview on Kuwaiti labor markets and repeated what he had said about Kuwait NGOs during the speech. Though I did appreciate his crack about how most Kuwaiti government employees only work for 2 hours a day (at least in their government jobs; they may very well be engaged in business on the side). Few current diplomats will say anything so glaringly negative about their posting country, that was why his remark was so funny, not the fact in general that he was ragging on Kuwait. One of those 'I can't believe he just said that!' awkward moments followed by raucous laughter. He was also very concerned about abuses committed against expatriates by their sponsors, which reminds me of a story.

This is a flashback to January 2006, several days before Eid al-Adha.

I hopped out of the taxi at Bahrain International Airport, excitedly taking a deep whiff of Bahraini air- the smell of adventure. The peculiar mix of fish-laden perpetual humidity, a contrast to the moisture deficient Eastern Province, Marlboros, and musk that only occurs on a weekend jaunt around the tiny kingdom, or when airborne adventure awaits. Busy with keeping my sleepy sister standing up straight, and engaged in the family ritual of counting and categorizing all luggage I was initially blind to the hundreds of South Asian men behind me.

A patient mass stood outside with enough stuffed suitcases and bursting boxes to bury them all, waiting to enter the airport, waiting for their flights, and waiting to see their families after years absent. Luckily those standing on the sidewalk were merely waiting, rather than waiting in an official line to enter the airport, so in we went with a whoosh of automatic doors. We barely fit.

The Bahrain airport is a small affair, with only one terminal. The check-in area is the requisite size for an airport with only one terminal. Half of the hall pre-passport control is empty space with one x-ray machine, through which all baggage must pass before passengers may proceed through the partition to the ticket counters. The hall was jammed tight with people snaked around in amusement park fashion all waiting for the use of the single x-ray machine. We dutifully assumed our place at the end, glad that we had arrived early.

A uniformed Bahraini airport official immediately approached us and forced us to the front of the line. It was an offer we couldn't refuse, mostly for the fact that his Asian subordinate had already grabbed a piece of our luggage and taken it to the x-ray scanner. It would not do at all to become engaged in a physical tussle over a suitcase; that is a surefire way to arouse suspicion and be sent to a 'special room' for questioning. As we made our way past the enormous cue up to the x-ray scanner, I noticed that every single person left in line was Asian. We had just been complicit in an act of discriminatory preferential treatment for the color of our skin and our passports. When we got to the ticket counter area, we still had two hours before our flight. Our airline's counter would not even open for another half hour, so there really was no advantage to our line jumping. God forbid that western expats should have to wait in the same cue with poor Asians as if He had actually created all men to be equal...

All the Gulf countries have a definite hierarchy of privledge (sp?):
1. Country nationals
2. Other GCC Nationals
3. Americans (our salaries are higher)
4. Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders, (white) South Africans, British and other Western Europeans, Japanese
5. Eastern Europeans, University-educated non-Gulf Arabs, Latin Americans
6. non-University-educated non-Gulf Arabs
7. Muslim non-Japanese Asians and non-Arab Africans in order of education/earning power
6. Non-Muslim non-Japanese Asians and non-Arab Africans in order of education/earning power (not that being Muslim appears to give much of an advantage in treatment. Since many low/semi-skilled workers are Muslim, it means that Muslims make up many of the cases of non-payment of salary, illegal passport holding, and physical abuse.)

I am very interested to hear of any corrections or amendments that you would make to this hierarchy, in addition to suggestions as to how we may end discrimination.

Should I have made a big scene, demanding (yelling) in Arabic why we were taken to the front, and insisting that we wait in line like everyone else? Would that have made the world a better place?

Name Dropping

2006-04-03T02:36:00.000-04:00

On Monday, April 3 I will be having lunch with the American ambassador to Kuwait, and I will spend part of my Friday afternoon with the Syrian ambassador to the US.

Abqaiq attack thwarted!

2006-02-24T17:47:00.000-05:00

Now we come to a new chapter on terrorism in Saudi Arabia, the one I have been dreading and hoping would never happen: an attack on a facility directly owned by Aramco.

This just in:

Two cars have exploded at the gates of Saudi Arabia's huge Abqaiq oil facility after security forces fired on suicide bombers trying to storm the world's biggest oil processing plant.

The al-Jazeera article later goes on to note

Aramco says it has the tightest security at all its oil plants, including helicopters, cameras, motion detectors and thousands of armed guards.

Until today, I worried that Aramco's guards were highly inept. Yes, they had weapons, but I did not think that they would be able to use them effectively in an emergency. If you have ever encountered Aramco guards, you will know exactly what I mean. Miraculously, security forces were able to stop the attackers before the whole oil production facility blew. If the price of oil can rise $2 a barrel from a thwarted attack on the world's largest oil processing facility, imagine how much higher the price would be if the terminal went up in flames.

Word from Dhahran is that Aramco's Abqaiq employees are spending the night in the Dhahran camp.

Saudis Export Abuse of Domestic Servants?

2006-02-20T17:18:00.000-05:00

Here in Colorado (Aurora to be exact), a Saudi couple has been accused of kidnapping and abusing their Indonesian nanny.

That's very, very sad. There is, however, a wonderful Victims of Trafficking Program in the state of Colorado that would allow her to stay in the country legally and get her life and dignity back.

What is not such a tragedy, but sad nonetheless, that the Saudis can't seem to get into the local US press for any positive coverage. I can't think of any examples. So, is it yet another case of 'Saudis behaving badly', or is it hard to sell a story on law-abiding, ordinary Saudis?

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

2006-02-20T01:34:00.000-05:00

Well, now that I'm done screaming, it's time to let you in on some of the latest news from Amman.

My Jordanian sister is getting married in about three weeks, and you'll never guess to whom.

Oh, that's right. The sleazy Iraqi guy. (Who even looks sleazy. He should have stopped trying to do a comb-over about 10 years ago). At least they will be living in a nice house near her mother's, and not moving to Baghdad. I'm afraid that she would get blown to bits and I'd never see her again. By living so near her mom, she will be able to have all the support of her family, and if he ever, ever cheats on her (as I suspect he will), then I want to be there when her two brothers and three uncles come and beat the living daylights out of him, mostly so I can join in on the vengance.

I desperately need to talk to my sister on her mobile so that I can get her alone without everone listening in, so that I can get all the juicy details of how on earth she agreed to marry this man after everything that has happened between them. This whole affair has been wrapped in secrets from the beginning (helped, in part, by an unwitting chaperone- moi), and I just know that there are more in this saga.

For those of you not tuned in to my study abroad adventures, a year ago I was living with a wonderful family in Amman where I met my long-lost Jordanian older sister. I went out on dates with her and Sleazy Iraqi Guy, because there is no such thing as dating in Jordan. I made an excellent chaperone. When asked by her family, she would reply that he was just a friend, and nothing more. I beleived her at first, but having been a woman in love myself, I could see through the glances given at the cafe, or the expression on her face when exchanging text messages. I once got interrogated by Mama on the subject, and after pretending at first that I did not understand, gave a convincing reply that whe was not in love and had no intentions of marrying him. My sister later confessed all on the subject.

One day, another friend of my sister gave her a bit of harrowing wisdom- "Wait? You mean he's Iraqi, almost 40, and he's NEVER BEEN MARRIED? Something has got to be wrong, I'm sorry girl." We pulled a prize-winning stunt that did, unfortunately, expose his infidelity. (A secret- her family does not know). She stopped talking to him. Eventually he came crawling back, and started negotiations for marriage (a tricky business considering the different national and religious backgrounds). A few months later, I heard that the engagement had been broken off. That was still the case when I talked to my sis a month ago.

Whatever on earth possessed my sister and her family to accepts him for a bridegroom, I am absolutely dying to know.

Please, someone give me suggestions on telephone cards with good connection quality that will actually call from USA to Jordan Fastlink. The last card I bought would only connect to land lines.

Points to Ponder

2006-02-19T02:58:00.000-05:00

I found these words of wisdom in the wee hours of the morning. (The post title is a link.)

Now go count your blessings.

Diary of a Wastafarian

2006-01-23T05:25:00.000-05:00

Wasta: It's what makes the Arab World go 'round.

AKA 'Vitamin Wow', wasta is the fine art of maintaining familial and social contacts, and milking them for all they are worth. It evolved out of complex social rituals involving generosity and reciprosity, but these days, exploitation is the name of the game. Washington power-networking is nothing compared to calling in favors using wasta from connections to the rich and powerful. Yes, to outside observers, wasta promotes nepotism, cronyism, and other forms of corruption, but it is oh-so-wonderful to have wasta working in your favor. I will miss riding around in the luxury sedans of the rich and famous.

I just spent nearly a month back in Saudi Arabia doing research for an economics thesis, and have been overwhelmed at the hospitality shown to me by women far removed from the normal connections that I, a lowly American university student, should command. My mother is friends with a Saudi lady who has passing acquaintances with the rich and powerful through her work. Somehow she managed to convince two very well-connected women to take me under their wing and give me the exact kind of introduction to professors, deans, CEOs, policymakers and chief economists that I needed. I heard her begging and pleading on the phone for several minutes to one woman to get her to meet with me very last minute. I really need suggestions on appropriate thank-you gifts for these people.

My theory is twofold: a cute, blonde American girl doing her research on women's employment from an objective (ie non-Saudi bashing) point of view is a novelty, and people were curious to meet me and 'set those Americans straight on the real Saudi Arabia.' The other factor working in my favor is the genuine kindness and hospitality in the academic community. Many experts are more than willing to act as mentors to young scholars doing their research.

I may never have an opportunity to repay favors to all of these people, so I vow to extend similar invitations to students when I (inshallah) become influential in my field.

OK, it's 4:00 am back here in the States (hurrah for jet lag) on a school night, so I had best save the rest of my juicy cultural insights for another time and force myself to go back to sleep. Before I go, I thought you might find some of my culture shock on arrival back to the States amusing: Why are there no Arabic subtitles on my tv? Where did all the thobes go? And why are there so many white people at the grocery store?

2005-12-18T11:41:00.000-05:00

Golden shards lie shattered on the pavement
the broken pieces glitter in the snow
So fragile a thing to behold.
You asked me to keep it safe-
I held it in my fingers, admiring the imperfection in perfection,
And all the time so blind to how it slipped through my grasp
And fell careening to the ground.

I tried to fix it by way of apology
Picking up each severed portion
But the more I gathered back to me,
The farther the fallen pieces flew on the back of the north wind.
Fingers frozen, I followed after them on bended knee,
digging in the snow as wind blew ever colder.
I failed to find the final bits, returning instead frostbitten.
Though I broke a simple promise by breaking the care that you put in my trust,
I have endured more hardship than your empty bauble (O flowery words of hollow intent!) was worth.

More New Orleans [It's NOT FAIR!]

2005-12-01T15:44:00.000-05:00

Those of you who read what I have written most recently in its old form were probably appalled, and rightly so. The tone that I meant to convey came out all wrong. I have learned a valuable lesson, which is that being facetious with issues of racial inequality just coms out wrong, every time. Humor and racism do not mix. Ever. The points that I wanted to make in the past are as follows:

-In New Orleans, the economic inequality is fundamentally tied to a system of racial inequality in place since the first enslavement of people of African origin. This is NOT FAIR. The cliche quip in response goes, "Yeah, but Life's not fair." Well, I refuse to accept that we are stuck with the situation that we've got. It should and can change.

-The unequal societal structure manifests itself as the white community being the more affluent population group in New Orleans, and the African-American community on average less affluent. Examing those low-income families near and below the poverty line, we notice that most of those families are black.

-Poverty causes unequal access to education, in a vicious cycle spaning generations. Poorer neighborhoods have worse schools becuase they cannot bring in property tax to have a sufficient budget. Those who can afford to move out of these neighborhoods to ones with better schools do so, removing a source of additional revenue. Part of what happened in New Orleans (for we also cannot forget the corruption behind the scenes) is that there were crummy schools in New Orleans proper. Families who could afford to do so 1) sent their children to public school or 2) moved just outside of New Orleans to towns with better schools. Looking at the demographics, it was the white families who were more likely to move out of the city. This stems from the racist-rooted practices of insurance agents and lenders who, back in the 40s or so, decided to assign lower property values to areas based on a larger proportion of minority residents. So a lawyer just moved in next door, for example. "Oh, he's black? Well, there goes the neighborhood. Better sell our house." That was exactly the kind of thinking at the time. It did not matter the income of the person, it was only based on skin color. People would sell their houses to get out of a mixed race neighborhood, and with so many houses on the market, the price was driven down. If minority-owned property is worth less, then they are forced to get lower asset ratings for loan purposes. If your line of credit is less valuable, then it is much more difficult to get educational loans. Lower education leads to a lower salary, which leads to lower education. Today, race is still a factor in determinig property values. This is morally reprehensible, but sadly, true.

-Poverty leads to substandard education which in turn (surprise, surprise) leads to lower test scores.

-A great point of contention that I have with the No Child Left Behind act is that it takes away funding from schools who could not improve their test scores. Either the poorest schools suffer further, or states dumb down their testing standards (which has already happened). The current system just leaves the poor students to rot. It's not fair, especially since a great step towards racial equality would be to ensure equal educational opportunities. That's why people tried bussing programs and quota systems. My problem was not so much in using quotas to ensure a culturally-mixed environment for students and more equitable income flows, it was in the fact that our society is so flawed that we would even need such measures in the first place.

-What I was trying to have be a joke about needing white children to attend the public schools to get higher test scores was trying to expose all the problems with inequality in the educational system at the same time. It was a facetious parroting of one of the arguements thrown around on the New Orleans school board, which is one of the ones that frequently leads to accusations of racism. This bizarre-seeming plan would take children with better education (predominantly white) and put them in the crummy schools (predominantly black). With higher test scores achieved, the crummy schools would get more money, which eventually would improve the quality of the schools, which eventually would give students a better education and a better life. This is one of those crazy ides that leads to the right place, but for the wrong reasons. We could mix schools according to socioeconomic background (which happens to be divided by race), but I do not think that we should actually make determinations of who goes to what school by the color of their skin. Besides, what if a brilliant student who happens to be poor and black wanted to go to Ben Franklin, but it was under a quota, and all the spots for his category were full. Is he not just as deserving as the other students? That is a problem inherent in using quotas. In trying to be more fair, in the end it was not fair. Well, then I could get caught up in the problem of what is and is not fair, that we might have to sacrifice one child's interest to benefit the other 250.

Ben Franklin Elementary School: Corrections

2005-11-29T00:23:00.000-05:00

New Orleans Times-Picayune Article

New York Times Article

There is some new information on Ben Franklin that I would like to add or correct.

-Ben Franklin is no longer a magnet school, but it will continue to offer gifted programs, as well as offering special education.

-Because of its superior academic performance, it will be one of the few schools not taken over directly by the State of Louisiana.

-It is still in the same ancient building.

-Presumably its budget is larger, as the children now have hula hoops and footballs for recess. But I was there in the good old days of rusty rocking horses and tetherball poles with no rope and no balls.

-Five charter schools will also open, including one at Alice Harte and one at O. Perry Walker. This last information will be of especial interest to my parents.

New Orleans Public Schools

2005-11-28T17:07:00.000-05:00

The title of this post is the link to a Reuters article.

The very first public school in New Orleans to reopen after Hurricane Katrina is none other than the Benjamin Franklin Math and Science Magnet Elementary School. Once the best performing school in the city, requring all aspiring students to pass an entrance exam, Benjamin Franklin will now be just another elementary school, taking students K-6 regardless of academic aptitude or performance. I understand that the ease of repairing the building, any school building, was a major factor in choosing a site to allow public school students to return to classes. I. however, strongly urge the State of Louisiana that is now in directly in charge of the New Orleans School System to return the Benjamin Franklin School to its magnet school status as soon as possible, or plan for other sites to be used as magnet schools. Better yet, hold all teachers in New Orleans to the same curricula and standards used at Ben Franklin, and watch in awe at the intellectual development of the children.

The War on Clutter

2005-11-19T17:45:00.000-05:00

Those who know me well all know that despite that fact that I manage to have good personal hygiene, the cleanliness of my home leaves much to be desired. I have washed dishes, cleaned the bathroom, and mopped the floor with some manner of regularity this year (begrudgingly), but have not yet managed to unbury my room from the pile of clothes (all clean, mind you), books, and papers that have flooded every available square foot of floor space. If kept under control once a week, the morass of belongings are easily returned to their proper places and order restored. However, the last time I cleaned my own room was sometime around my birthday, back at the beginning of October. When my possessions also began to clutter the living room, my roomate declared war. Not wanting to start an international incident, I vowed to myself that I would have everything clean and shiny by the time she returns from her trip. It would be easy enough to throw all of my things in the living room in the giant pile with everything else, but I have discovered the sad truth that there is, indeed, a level of disorder past which I cannot function. I have mostly fixed my own room, and am currently in the process of determining which items in the living room are for my Russian politics class, and which pertain to my thesis. Then there is the kitchen, and bathroom.

I will finally be able to take pictures of my apartment and have people over without scaring them!

I see the city of the seven hills, sunrise awaits

2005-11-11T17:12:00.000-05:00

The Jordan bombings have upset me more than I first realize, and more than I was initially willing to admit. I still have to choke back the tears when I try to read the latest news surrouding the incident.

Though I am physically in the US, and have been there since July, my immediate reactions are as fierce an painful as if I were still living in Amman.

As an American in Jordan whose presence was nebulously related to the US government, I am exactly the kind of person who al-Qaida was intending to target. I was at the Raddisson SAS and Day's Inn quite a few times, and could have easily been blown up on one of those occasions. Despite my efforts to vary my route and timings in my daily commute, my locations would have been easily predictable. Blonde women have a tendency to stick out and attract stares regardless of if they are dressed Jordanian. Nothing short of full veil could have disguised my ethnicity. The scariest feeling in the world is walking down the street and wondering if those people you saw near you were terrorists, casing out a target.

It could have been my mother and sister dead, who stayed at the Radisson SAS when they were in Amman.

This was the fifth and sixth exact place respectively that has exploded within a few months of my being in that exact spot. The terrorists are getting to me. I can no longer feel safe in the Middle East.

The worst part of hearing the news was not knowing if my host family was alive. It was the five hours of uncertainty that were some of the most harrowing in my entire life. The Radisson SAS is about four vlocks from their house, and the Grand Hyatt is about ten. I was in a daze for most of that time, alternately crying and wailing for the first half hour.

Everyone that I personally knew in Jordan is alive, thnak God.

Who Says You Can't Write a Successful Grant Proposal in an Hour?

2005-11-08T14:33:00.000-05:00

I am now the proud owner of a $500 research prize from the Department of Economics and Business. The prize is to "encourage independent economics research," and while I applied for it in anticipation of the interviews that I will conduct for my thesis "Effects of Increasing Women's Employment in Saudi Arabia" over half block, I can spend the money any way that I wish, without justification or budget of any kind, except that I will need to write a thank-you note detailing how this award has hleped me in my research to the very generous man who is funding this year's five or so awards. I anticipate expenditures in the following areas:

-a mini voice recorder to aid in my interviewing
-taxi fees to get to the interview site. Women are not allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia outside of certain portions of Saudi Aramco property.
-drycleaning bills for professional-looking attire, including abaya
-refreshments for my interviewers. No business can be conducted in the Kingdom without first offering refreshments and enquiring about the health of every relative of the other person that you can remember.

The other $400 or so is all mine. Any suggestions?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

2005-11-03T00:27:00.000-05:00

I attended a luncheon this afternoon where everyone was asked to draw a question from a straw hat and read their question and the answer to the rest of the group. All of the questions were of a personal nature, such as, "If you could only take three things to a deserted island, what would you take and why?" or, "What has been the best experience at CC so far?" Except for one question, which I had the luck to draw. Without further ado, I now present...

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

This question is obviously of an economic nature, relating to the amount of production of chucked wood. In this theoretical model of chucked wood production, we will follow standard economic procedure and explain the assumptions inherent in the model, namely that the woodchuck can indeed chuck wood. The next stage of constructing the model is to determine the conditions under which chucked wood production takes place. Is the woodchuck chucking his wood in a free market economy, where he can make his own decisions about chucking wood based upon consumer demand and his expected profits? Or is this a centrally-planned economy, where a hyperational group of planners has dictated a quota to the woodchuck of exactly how much chucked wood he must produce...

Yes, that was the snappy answer that came to mind. I am that much of an economics nerd.

Dear Polyglot Diary

2005-11-01T23:30:00.000-05:00

كنت عندي اجتماعات و صفوف كثييييييييييييييييييييييييييييييييير اليوم. لم عملت الواجب حتى الان لكن فكرت ان لو اكتب سي بالعربي كل يوم ساكتب احسن في المستقبل. ربما ساعمل ترجمة لكل كاتبة في هذا الموقع الانترنت من هذا اليوم.

Translation: I had a tooooooooooooooooooon of classes and meetings today. I haven't done my homework yet, but I thought that if I wrote something in Arabic every day then I would write better in the future. Maybe I will do a translation for all compositions on this website from now on.

A Blog Benediction

2005-10-29T02:22:00.000-04:00

ahlan wa sahlan
ila baab youmiyan
souq al-fikraati
ad-daar adh-dhikrayaati
La nustaHmil hona al-Hazeen
laakin nishrab shayy ash-sha3reen
bi-dhalik niHnu fariHeen
bism al-ab wa al-ibn wa al-rooH al-qudus, Amiin.

Apparently I cannot shed L-1 poetry structure. Note the use of rhyming couplets and alliteration.

"Welcome to a daily portal,
Marketplace of my ideas,
The abode of my memories.
We do not endure our sorrow here,
but drink a tea of verses
so that we may be joyful.
In the name of The Father and The Son and The Holy Spirit, Amen."

What, you thought I would adopt Islamic imagery just because I'm writing in Arabic? Not after living with uber-devout Arabic-speaking Christians I'm not. Christianity is a natural expression in Arabic to me.

Look Where I've Been

2005-10-28T22:46:00.000-04:00

Another fun meme to share: Countries I've Been to:

18 Countries! For an 8% of the World Total

create your own visited country map

And no, I don't know why it is outside the borders of my page.

New Syrian TV Show- About the Lives of Syrians and Other Arabs in Residential Compounds in Saudi Arabia

2005-10-27T21:35:00.000-04:00

A new television series being broadcast around the Middle East tells the story of Arabs living in residential compounds in Saudi Arabia and the militant Islamists who want to blow them up so they can collect their rewards in heaven — 72 beautiful virgins.

Well, that just about says it all. I can't believe that someone made a show about this. I so wish I had satellite with an Arabic package, just for this series. It is broadcast on Syrian and Lebanese television, and the popular Dubai-based Saudi-owned MBC.

The link to the article is in the title of this post.

Doubts Raised on Saudi Vow for More Oil

2005-10-27T18:21:00.000-04:00

In brief response to the New York Times Article, Doubts Raised on Saudi Vow for More Oil, no, I do not think that Saudi Arabia will meet the high estimates it has promised. But know this- the Saudis are indeed working as hard as they can to meet their desired increased output.

I can't wait to read the editorial responses by various ministerial, ambassadorial, and Saudi Aramco officials.

American Zionism

2005-10-27T15:32:00.000-04:00

A scathing criticism of American foreign policy in the Middle East is our closeness with the state of Israel. Yes, our relationship is a close one, but not to the point of numerous political cartoons on the theme of Ariel Sharon ordering George Bush to jump, and George Bush responding, "How high?"

As proof that we are not at the every beck and call of Israel, I offer this Washington Post article US Doesn't Back Call for Iran Explusion. Iran called for Israel to be wiped off the face of the earth (may we go so far as to presume by nuclear force?), Israel in turn called for the expulsion of Iran from the UN, and the US told everyone to be nice.

"Iran is a member of the United Nations," State Department spokesman Sean McCormack said. "What I think we would encourage instead is Iran to start behaving in a responsible manner as a member of the international community."

While I in no way think that Iran should be booted out of th UN, I would appreciate much harsher rhetoric to come from the US vis-a-vis Iran's nuclear policies.

Today's Most Bizarre Story out of the Middle East

2005-10-20T22:47:00.000-04:00

Jackson Takes Up Residence in Bahrain - Los Angeles Times

So. Michael Jackson is moving to Bahrain. I am so going to take pictures of his house over winter break.

Polyglot Overload

2005-10-19T01:45:00.000-04:00

I have remarked on occasion when asked that working knowledge of four languages (including English) is "no big deal." Well, that is a big fat lie. Of course my brain gets confused.

I am currently taking both Arabic and Japanese courses, and I need to use Spanish at work. Arabic is my dominant foreign language due to my immersion history, and its vocabulary and grammar patterns, rather than English, take over at inopportune moments. Extra processing delays occur in Spanish and Japanese from having to remove elements of Arabic before I say a sentence out loud, in addition to the normal moments of trying to remember a word or recall a conjugation. This Arabic-dominant foreign language system is reinforced by its more frequent use in casual chat with Arabic-speaking students, and my trials and tribulations in navigating Arabic-only government ministry websites. This week I have experienced a few crisis points where I began thinking in Arabic, and it interfered with the speed of my English output. That is supposed to be a good development in the heirarchy of steps towards true bilingual acheivement, but presently useless to me unless the aggressive Arabic part of my brain can help me find an authoritative outline (transcripts are even better!) of Saudi Arabia's Eighth Development Plan.

First Saudi Cinema to Screen Cartoons for Women, Children

2005-10-17T09:54:00.000-04:00

First Saudi Cinema to Screen Cartoons for Women, Children

This is simply super! Cinemas return to the Kingdom, and the first one is not 'men only,' it is for women and children! Special thanks to my mother for directing my attention to this historic news.

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

2005-10-16T13:29:00.000-04:00

As Gazprom Grows, So Does Russia's Sway - Yahoo! News

Special thanks to my dad for sending me a copy of this article.

For all the conspiracy theorists out there: Why did Ukraine's Orange Revolution not take Ukraine as far out of Russia's orbit as the Ukrainians had orginally hoped?

A: Because Ukraine needed a continued supply of energy at subsidized priced from Gazprom, the enormous Russian energy company.

And soon Gazprom will take over the world! Well, in all seriousness, it is expected to eventually be the world's largest energy producer, outstripping such giants as ExxonMobil and BP. Even my beleved Aramco... *sniff*

You Know You're an Expat Kid in Saudi Arabia When...

2005-10-12T12:39:00.000-04:00

This is a meme that's circling around the expat community at the moment. I just got it e-mailed to me, and then I saw it on facebook. All the ones that apply to me (or have) are in bold.

You Know You're an Expat Kid in Saudi Arabia or Have Been When...

1. You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?" (And when you do, you get into an elaborate conversation that gets everyone confused and/or makes you sound very spoiled)

Yeah, I hate this question. It's the sure-fire way not to make friends.

2. You flew before you could walk.

3. You have a passport, but no driver's license.

I didn't have a driver's license until a few months before I turned 19.

4. You think California is cold.

5. You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone.

6. You run into someone you know at every airport.

7. Conversations with friends take place at 6:00 in the morning or 10:00 at night.

8. Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times.

9. You can speak with authority about the quality of various international airlines.

10. You feel self conscious around all white people.

11. You get offended when someone turns down an offer for food.

Tradtional Middle East hospitality. I've been brainwashed.

12. You live at school and go home for vacation.

13. You treasure pork and rootbeer as highly-valued commodities.

14. You have ever had to wait for prayer call to be over to finish shopping

15. You are fascinated by any wildlife bigger than a gecko.

16. You know the true meaning of "football.:

You can so tell that an American wrote this.

17. You know that it's a small world.

18. You have ever gone to the "hammam" or endured a "shamal,”

19. You get all the jokes in Aladdin.

20. Rain is still one of the most wonderful sounds in the world.

21. You haggle with the checkout clerk for a lower price.

22. Your wardrobe can only handle two seasons: hot and warm.

23. Your school memories include duck-and-cover drills.

24. You are used to being stared at.

25. You think VISA is a document stamped in your passport, and not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.

26. You call a chicken burrito a "shawerma."

27. Your dorm room/apartment/living room looks a little like a museum with all the "exotic" things you have around.

28. You've heard of "hubbly bubbly and acutally eat baba ganoush and hommus.”

29. You've woken up in the middle of the night to watch the Superbowl on cable

30. You have sat in a "men" or "women" section in an airport, hospital, or restaurant.

31. You know the geography of the rest of the world, but you don't know the geography of your own country. (Isn't Philadelphia it's own state?)

32. Your best friends are from 5 different countries.

33. You're spoiled. You know it. You're VERY spoiled.

My Very Colonial Day, Cont.

2005-10-08T13:47:00.000-04:00

In continuation of things yesterday that are appropriate to My Very Colonial Day:

-Meeting with thesis advisor, Anglo-Indian. Many of the brilliant development economists of our day are Indian, and she is no exception. She is also head of the department, so whoever says that women aren't suited to take hig positions in the field of economics is dead wrong.

-Indian food for lunch, with Orange Fanta. Courtesy of the econ department. Yum!

-A near-fluent conversation in Arabic to schedule an interview for the school paper. Article topic? Ramadan.

-Reading a novel set between America and Britain and India dealing with India's colonial past

-Another conversation in Arabic with a different person.

Good Queen Vic, Eh Wot?

2005-10-07T12:18:00.000-04:00

I am feeling "d----- colonial" this morning.

After going through my morning toilette, I breakfasted on chai and two halves of pita bread, betwixt which I placed slices of cheddar cheese. The cheddar is in homage to my respectable, farm stock British ancestors, who demand that I consume cheddar in mass quantities, preferably on good peasant bread. The chai and eastern-style bread were a "quaint" addition to my morning fare, for it is sometimes "jolly good fun" to dine upon the curious comestibles to which "the natives" are accustomed. Blue-stocking ladies such as myself (for so I would be at that time, with my inclination to devote my energy in pursuit of linguistics and the 'dismal science' of economics rather than catch a husband at the first possible opportunity- I purport that throwing oneself at every young man to come along at a frat party is the modern equivalent, though the end goal in this case is not marriage, an activity in which I obviously do not participate) are afforded more liscence to indulge in such oddities.

I then set to work on my senior thesis whilst listening to a fabulous band of Irishmen (and the fiddler- a woman!). There is nothing so much good as music from "Back Home" to inspire one to do work what is ultimately intended to "show the natives the inefficiency of their administration, and provide solutions such as can only come from a better trained Western mind." You may laugh at my current deprecation of the end goals of Development Economics, but ponder this- how is the officious tweaking of an economy by the (mostly) light-skinned, suited officials of the IMF and World Bank or the monetary and technical expertise of the men and women of USAID, armed all with the latest theories proudly provided by Western institutions of learning, any different than an orientalist of the old school or a pompous white official of the British Raj imposing his vision of order and superior Western technology and ideas on a "backward mass" of poor, ignorant darker-skinned peoples?

I proudly proclaim not to be an 'orientalist,' that I am from a more enlightened time of cultural relativism where I can refuse to make broad, cultural generalizations and throw out explanations that assert any inherent cultural inferiority as a reason against developmental success. Today we may blame government corruption, colonial subjugation and the creation of unnatural-boundaried states difficult to administer, OECD farm sudsidies, in short- anything other than religion or culture as a barrier to success. The same applies to the political realm; a majority of theories holding religious or cultural traditions as barriers to the democratic freedoms that are 'every society's eventual and natural progression' are now suspect. If thinking that women's absolute equality, freedoms of religion, speech, petition, and assembly are natural rights that ought to be enjoyed by every person on this earth, and I do see religious an cultural barriers and I want to change other societies to reflect a greater prevalence of such freedom and equality and that makes me an orientalist- then so be it. If I acknowledge that it is culture that makes the Saudis lazy (there! I said it!) and refusing of jobs that they could be taking, and that makes me an orientalist, then so be it.

I had quite the colonial upbringing, anyway, living in a compound in Saudi Arabia that resembled one of the British enclaves in India under the old system. My little western-cultural paradise was originally designed to "keep the natives out," and the Saudis who live there now are pretty western-minded themselves, which "makes them alright." Just like the upper-class Indians who imitated British ways. We have had various people in our employ for various kinds of domestic tasks (servants, one might have said in the olden days), from Bangladesh, Pakistan, and the Phillipines. "How just like the Asians to be doing the servant work," one might have said. Such thinking is still so prevalent among certain women in our enclave that it had begun to infuse my unconscious thoughts. While in Bahrain I was playing with my sister at a playground, and a young boy from New Zealand began to play with us. Wondering about the large difference in our ages, he asked my sister, "Is that the nanny," rather than asking me. It reflects an attitude that still exists among those used to servants at an early age (I am not one them, thank-you-very-much) that they are not deserving of direct address. To my great shame now, my first thought upon the boy's query was actually, "No! I am not the nanny! Do I look Asian?" It is my determined task to rid myself of these colonial-style prejudices that have polluted my thinking.

In the finest of British colonial traditions, I attended a top-notch boarding school for young ladies back in my home country. Though my fellow young ladies resident of Saudi Arabia were of Asian heritage thus something not to be seen in the olden days, we all commiserated with one another on "how strange the ways of the natives (Saudis), and how much superior our own societies were." If I make jokes about being a Victorian-era British expatriate, they are the closest parallells to my own experience because really, American influence and adnimistration in the Gulf picked up right where the British left off. I myself am but part of a long tradition that stretched back to the British Raj, which led to a desire to protect their shipping routes in the Gulf, whereby they had the smaller Gulf states as protectorates. It is also the British' fault that the Sauds took over nearly the entire penninsula. As The Empire waned, the Americans merely took their place. My career aspirations thus far fit quite nicely into the idea of 'an American-administered empire.' If I do see American presence in the Gulf as something of an empire, it is not me being some sort of 'latte liberal,' whining over the state of affairs in Iraq, but rather, I can, with great accuracy, trace the roots of the American presence back to the 'great and glorious' British Empire.

Long Live the Queen!

2005-10-07T00:40:00.000-04:00

I've been feeling pretty down recently (well, that's an understatement), and to top it all off the weather is just about freezing (a balmy 34 degrees F). The weather in the week of my birthday (Saturday, the 8th) is supposed to be wonderful autumn weatherin the 60s: the trees have started to turn, apples are on the trees, and I can stay outdoor for hours in the wind with nought but a light jacket. This is my favorite weather all year, so the fact that a cold front had to come and ruin it for me is making my misery oh so much more miserable.

But I just sat through a 2 hour Irish music concert, which helped immensely. I am finally upbeat, though now I have so many tappin' tunes stuck in my head that I cannot sit still and get my work done.

Those Crazy Kids and Their Google Pranks

2005-09-29T01:30:00.000-04:00

If you get enough links together throughout the wide world of the web that display a certain line of text, the linked site will appear in search engines using that text as a query. Some little punks thought that it would be hilarious to force a Google seach for 'miserable failure' to point to the official White House biography of none other than The President, George W. Bush.

I dare you. Check it out here.

Well LaDeeDa

2005-09-26T15:51:00.000-04:00

I have finally been asked to join the prestigious legion of students who serve as tutors and graders, an academic honor enhanced by a small salary. I was always jealous of those who excelled in the math and science disciplines who were asked to become graders, but now my roomate and I can work on papers together!

I will be the homework grader for the Block 2 Econometrics class. That's a 400-level course.

Counting Down to the Big 2-0

2005-09-25T01:28:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to get over all of my anxieties about turning 20. Recieving an Amazon gift certificate certainly helped, though maybe it's all the hippie vibes running through this place (and some important lessons from my host family), but I really feel like I've got enough 'stuff.' If anyone's got any suggestions on what I should get, lemme know. I'm thinking of some DVDs maybe.

Now that I know how to salsa, I'm totally going to party it up at the homecoming dance, which is conveniently the same day as my b-day, Oct. 8th. Though if anyone wanted to do anything special to mark the occasion, I certainly wouldn't mind.

Two Weeks and Counting!!!

2005-09-22T00:34:00.000-04:00

Que decirias si hable la verdad,
hable las palabras fuertes,
la fuerza de las palabras altas
como la hoja afilada
de una espada fria?

Are you the one, then,
cut by the brazen blade of revelation,
angered at the glaring confirmation of what you hoped to never hear?
Or is it I who must fall upon the knife,
the icy fire plunging into my breast
to atone for the pain of my trusting folly?

Me prometieron liberdad en la verdad,
y no este prision, mas peor que mi silencia.
Hay gran sufrimiento en silencia
y tal vez pienso en el suicidio,
el suicidio con el sabor dulce falso
de la verdad.

So, it was really late when I wrote this and I'm not really sure what it is, it just came out. Sometimes poetry is like that.

Points to Ponder from The Persian Puzzle

2005-09-21T15:31:00.000-04:00

[Edit] I will have many more things to say throughout the next 24 hours, so check back on this post.

I wanted to go ahead and write down some of my thoughts so far on reading this book so that I would not forget them when I wanted to come back later and do some in-depth analysis of these topics. If I were writing a paper for a class, one of these questions would totally become one of my paper topics. If I were to do a Political Science thesis, these would be the kind of questions that I would ask. I thought that they might be interesting to share with you. Feel free to provide answers, comments, and contradictory evidence. I am open to any and all points of view.

I had my book with me when I went over to the Worner Center, and the recruiter for the Peace Corps noticed that I had it. He offered me the title of a light overview on US-Iranian relations, with the kind of tone of voice and body language that suggested that I would prefer a lighter volume. He felt sorry for me that I had to make my way through it, and that he was doing me a favor. Light reading? This is my light reading! I felt insulted at the suggestion, as if he thought I were unprepared for the intellectual rigors of the book, or had no business being interested in Persian Gulf Security Policy. I eat Gulf Security Policy for breakfast. Mmmm, gotta love that F-16 Toast Crunch (TM)!

-Iran was once majority Sunni. After being ruled over by foreign (Turkish and other Central Asian) dynasties throughout the Middle Ages, it finally had an ethnic Persian dynasty in the 1500s. That dynasty happend to be Shia, and ordered that everybody convert.

-1996 Khobar Towers Bombing: the work of al-Qaeda, or Iranian-supported Shia dissidents in Saudi Arabia? I've heard evidence for both, though the evidence for the minority Shia dissidents sounds more and more appealing. The results of our investigation into the incident and the ultimate blocking of information release to us by the Saudi royal family sheds an interesting light onto our true relationship with our 'Gulf client states.' They are truly not at our beck and call, assisting us only when they see an overwhelming interest. If we really controlled them, then we would see real democratic reform from the top down. "Why, what was that, Mr. President? Oh, establish a real, elected parliament? A constitutional monarchy where the king has no power to sack prime ministers, block political parties, or dissolve parliament at will? Oh, but of course! Yes, right away Mr. President." Not to mention that we could get all the Gulf States to make nice with Israel. At the rate things are going, that'll happen just about when pigs fly, or the realm of Hades turns to ice.

-According to the author, the overwhelming reason why we did not remove Saddam at the end of the Gulf War was because it was feared that sudden removal of the central leader would lead into chaos between all the different ethnic groups. We were deathly afraid of Iran's interference and opportunity for it to extend its regional influence, given Iraq's majority Shia population, and Iran's numerous contacts developed there during the Iraq-Iran war. We also were worried that the Kurds would want a separate state, which our Turkish ally would have none of. Sound familiar? If the powers that be in the upper echelons of government actually had the foresight for these possibilities back in 1991, then why on earth were they not sufficiently prepared for them a decade later? Why does it look like we really have no plan to stop the chaos and fragmentation and just have a big, bungling mess?

-Despite their shared goal of hatred of Israel and their desire to blow up civilians, both Hamas and Hizbollah are natural enemies. Both groups receive money from Iran. (according to the book). If Iran is a Shia state both in its majority demographic makeup and (more importantly as far as its foreign policy is concerned) explicty stated in its governing document, then why on earth would Iran give money to Hamas (a Sunni organization), which is at odds with the Hizbollah organization that Iran started?

-How could we have been so blind as to think that Cold War era Iraq was actually in danger of becoming a Soviet puppet? Being chummy with the USSR is different than agreeing to advance its regional objectives.

-A side question: I was 4 when the Berlin Wall fell, and 5 or 6 when the Soviet Union split apart, so I don't remember much firsthand about Cold War geopolitics. I wish I could ask my Grandpa. How much of the Cold War really was an ideological battle, and how much of it was a modern continuation of the 19th Century 'Great Game', with Britain replaced by the US as the major player against Russia? If anyone knows of any long, detail-packed books on the subject, let me know. I already have the overview down pat, thank you very much.

-An amusing anecdote: Kuwait had actually had freindly dialogue with the USSR years before the end of the Cold War. When the Kuwaitis asked the US to reflag some of its oil tankers in the Gulf as US ships so that they would be eligible for US Naval escorts and thus protections for Iranian attacks on Arab ships during the Iraq-Iran War, we initially refused. The Kuwaitis then asked Russia, which was happy to oblige, so that they wuld then have and excuse to have their own naval ships in the Gulf. Then we promptly agreed to Kuwait's original request so as to limit Soviet influence in the region.

-America is not God. It does not have power to achieve everything or the ability or desire to influence everything in every country. We frequently forget that other countries do see us as uber-powerful, and they conduct their foreign policy accordingly. But we could certainly do much more than we are doing towards the Middle East Peace process and ending the genocide in the Sudan. There is a difference between not being in a position to do anything at all of any meaningful good, and being able to help somehow.

The Number of the Counting Shall Be Three

2005-09-19T01:16:00.000-04:00

They say that bad luck comes in threes. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. Well, today was an excellent example of the classic case of three-fold inept instances.

1. The chicken I was roasting was insufficiently defrosted (unbeknownst to me when I put it in the oven) and I almost poisoned my roomate and I on salmonella. Yum, yum. An extra half an hour did the trick though.

2. My cake bubbled over the side of the pan, and the cake droppings promptly burned. It looked awful, but tasted great.

3. I left the sink on and pretty much flooded the bathroom. Thank goodness for owning multiple towels.

Arabic Class

2005-09-16T03:03:00.000-04:00

So, enough people left the school or just dropped out of Arabic altogether such that I now have two hours a week with the professor all to myself. At this rate, with the ability to collaboratively design my own lesson plan in coordination with my teacher, I'll be up to minimal professional proficiency in no time. (inshallah).

Current Reading List

2005-09-15T12:15:00.000-04:00

This is a list of all the books that I'm working my way through this block in lieu of anything for which I will actually recieve credit. They make excellent background reading for my thesis, on which I am also getting a head start. I have 20 (at least!) scholarly journal articles saved to my computer that I will pour over as well. I reserve all rights to post reviews of and/or reactions to any of the books/ and or articles.

The Persian Puzzle: The Conflict between Iran and America by Kenneth M. Pollack, currently of The Brookings Institution

Saudi Arabia Exposed by John R. Bradley, former correspondent of the Arab News

Succession in Saudi Arabia, by Joseph A. Kechichian

Jordanians, Palestinians, and the Hashemite Kingdom in the Middle East Peace Process, by Adnan Abu-Odeh

Saudi Arabia and the Politics of Dissent, by Mamoun Fandy

Saudi Arabia Enters the Twenty-First Century- The Political, Foreign Policy, Economic, and Energy Dimensions, by Anthony H. Cordesman, published in cooperation with the Center for Strategic and International Studies

Arab Human Development Report 2004- Towards Freedom in the Arab World, United Nations Development Program